Posted on 6/15/18 9:19 PM
@Avasad I know. I do that sometimes. It is easier to hide them, than to express what we are feeling so we just pretend like everything is OK when people ask. And if you are feeling depressed and don't know the reason - it could be a chemical imbalance. I was taking a medicine to help raise my serotonin levels (doctor says that can cause depressed feelings). Still, talking to someone (especially someone you trust, and hopefully you can see face to face) might someday reveal what the issues are.
Posted on 6/17/18 4:35 AM
@dlannan3821 I really want to talk to a specific person, they're willing to listen, I just don't know how!!! I don't know what to say!!!
Posted on 6/17/18 5:17 AM
I need someone who will listen and talk too and not judge me for what I'm going threw and feeling...I was diagnosed with severe depression, ptsd and major anxiety...I really don't know where to turn too anymore..thinking of signing in to a mental health hospital..I'm having issues with my husband ...
Posted on 6/17/18 6:27 AM
Hi. I'm a senior in high school and my best friend group that last for seven years strong recently broke up and I know that it will never come back together so I feel myself losing myself and isolatung myself from the people I love eithout even realizing it. Anyone out there that gets me?
Posted on 6/17/18 4:24 PM
@Avasad Me, too. It’s an emptiness that can’t be described to anyone who hasn’t been there.
I’m there and have been for decades. I think others like us are better medicine than antidepressants (in most cases). I’m on three different ones plus anxiety medicine & now pain medicine. Now I don’t know if I’m coming or going but it doesn’t matter because I don’t care. I’m staying alive for my son and my dog.
Posted on 6/17/18 4:47 PM
@Alison1 I wish I was on medication for it! The thing is, I was never actually diagnosed with either. My therapist said I have anxiety (does that make it a diagnosis?) And I self diagnosed myself with depression. Till this day im convinced that I'm depressed. But nobody else knows that...
Posted on 6/17/18 5:46 PM
Keep going to doctors if you can. It took 7 doctors before one said, “oh, that’s depression” & the anxiety diagnosis went along with it. That was in the late eighties and it’s so much easier to label now. I don’t know why they won’t give you an antidepressant-they’re SO common now. It’s not like you’re asking for pain pills. I’m really stumped. I can’t say they were a miracle cure, but just having someone believe you is huge!
I believe you & you’re not alone by any means. We’re in the millions. And those are the ones reported.
If you’d like to keep writing, I think it might help both of us.
p.s. “Avasad” broke my heart.
Posted on 6/17/18 6:11 PM
@Wiccanmom I’ll listen & certainly won’t judge. I’ve been hospitalized many times-I don’t even know how many any more. Sometimes voluntarily when I didn’t trust myself & other times involuntary when my family got scared.
If you have insurance that’s great. If not, I’d forget about a hospital. Those are SO bad. They ignore you, mix up meds & they may only let you stay 3 days. You can go to an emergency room & tell them you don’t trust yourself. They’ll put you in a locked facility. But, it can take weeks for meds to work! So you’re back home more depressed from the lack of results.
Have you ruled out medical things that cause depression?
I’ve been married twice & if I’m honest with myself, I know neither of the really good guys could take it-no empathy because they hadn’t been through anything like it.
You have children? If your marriage is in trouble be careful what you do if it gets testy. You don’t want to lose time with them. I didn’t see my middle school age son for 4 years. I’m happy to say he’s 28 now, lives with me, helps me when I need it AND hates his father for divorcing me when all along I thought he was mad at me.
if you’d like to keep writing, it could help both of us & I’ll disclose whatever you’d like to know.
p.s. We have a Women’s Resouce Center here that has All the resources for all types and conditions. Your story, I’m sure, won’t be a surprise. Maybe there’s one near you that may be able to direct you & they definitely don’t judge. They’ve heard everything!
Posted on 6/18/18 2:44 PM
@Avasad Well, it is hard but somehow you have to get to the point where you can share what is going on in your life - something is causing your depression. It could be a job you don't like, loss of a loved one, bad feelings about yourself (low self esteem often because we are more hard on ourselves for mistakes), difficulty making friends or being in a relationship. I don't know if anyone on here is spiritual (as in believes in God) or if we are even supposed to talk about that on here ... but sometimes it is an emptiness that only God can fill. I know a lot of people don't like thinking about those things because of the way they have been treated by "religious" people sometimes. But if nothing else, and it is hard until you can come to grips with the problems leading to your depression, try to write down what you feel - angry, sad, hopeless - and what is going on in your life to make you feel that way.
And if you are keeping yourself isolated (like I sometimes do) try going and finding some activity that forces you to be around people - something you enjoy or used to. Maybe you can connect with other people with same interests. I used to enjoy going to church, and I still love my church family, but sometimes I even have to force myself to go because I want to stay home and do nothing. Part of that is the depression and the stress from my job. I think also a lot is because my mother died last year... And a lot of times it is a lot of things building up that cause us to be so overwhelmed we cannot describe how we are feeling - or in my case, I am putting up a wall around my emotions because I am afraid of what will happen if I let go ... Hope some of this makes sense.
Posted on 6/19/18 6:11 PM
I have to work 2 jobs just to try to keep my mind off of things and just to get out of bed everyday . If not my body would not let me move. On my off days I wake up so down in tears not knowing what’s next for me. It’s so hard living like this. I shut myself out from the world and family. One minute I’m ok and than the next I feel as though the whole world is on top of me. I need help.