Topic of the discussion
Posted on 1/13/20 7:52 AM
Hi guys my name is mitzy, where do I even start .... these days have been so hard and just to think I've had days like this and I'm so tired of being tired . Every day I feel like I'm starting to live a double life... my outside life I get up go to work, go hike every other day and go about my day but when I come home that's it my mind takes control and what sucks is it affects everyone around me especially my 9 year old son . Not only that I stopped talking to all my close friends over all it's just been such a weird feeling I keep getting. I feel so alone,hopeless, sad everything ! I've been getting anxiety attacks to the point where I start crying and I'm not going to lie I'm starting to feel suicidal again.... is this really my life ? Is this my purpose to live my life feeling like this for the past 15+ years I am 29 at the moment and every year I feel extremely blessed to be here another year because I haven't done any harm to myself but till when? Now a friend asked me but why do you feel like this? Do you need money are you having any problems ?... ect... at times when I'm stressed about my problems that's when I feel the most depressed and suicidal but when the water clears and everything is okay I still feel alone and depressed. I have been diagnosed before with depression and I was on fluoxetine. I don't want go go that route but maybe it's time after 4 years I go back on meds? I just don't see a way out of this horrible feeling that I get ! Is there anybody out there that can help me? God bless ❤
Beginning of the discussion - 1/14/20Depression sucks. https://www.carenity.us/forum/depression/living-with-depression/depression-sucks-1463
Posted on 1/14/20 5:00 PM
Hello @Mitzy1218 ,
Thank you for starting a thread. How are you feeling this morning? Feel free to post in other already existing threads as well, so other members can see and respond to your questions.
I hope this message finds you feeling a little better.
Posted on 1/18/20 2:24 PM
Hello @Mitzy1218 ,
I’m here for you. I have been through the same thing. Can you please friend me? I would love to talk with you and try to help. Praying for you.
Posted on 1/18/20 5:18 PM
Mitzy, same answer as juju. It's as though I could have written that for myself. I completely understand. I am going through the exact same thing, except that now I have no job to go to. I lost my job, my health unsurance and my friends all in 1 day. On top of everything you are feeling, I am also dealing with anger. It's eating me up. Friends and family sometimes try their best, but mostly they avoid me or simply say move on. I would love to do that. I have tried everything. I don't know what else I can do or how to move past this.
Posted on 1/19/20 3:29 PM
@Mitzy1218 I understand how you feel if you ever want to talk you can message me ... praying for you
Posted on 1/19/20 8:26 PM
@NanGram , please don’t feel so down. Don’t seclude yourself either. Talk through your anger. In order to get well we have to go through the pain, look and address it and move forward. I’m here if you need anything.
Posted on 1/19/20 11:29 PM
I recently told my family about my depression reaching a low point about 6 months ago, and described what it was like and the scary thoughts I was having. I was surprised, I received a lot of shaming comments, they were angry with me for having these thoughts and feelings. They called me selfish. They described how my depression affects them, how rude I am, how I interrupt their events and bring them down. You are always told to reach out, to tell the people around you, your family and friends, what is going on and how you feel. But I regret telling anyone what I have/am going through. It has always led to people walking away. How do you handle the people who aren’t supportive, who blame and shame you? How do you know who you can trust with your truth?
Posted on 1/20/20 5:28 PM
Hi Emily. I am sorry to hear that the people in your lif do not understand. It takes a lot of bravery to open up and tell someone how you feel. Even if they don't react well, its the right thing to do.
I wrote some if this to another friend here who said it helped her a lot so I wanted to share some of it with you as well:
Typically those of us that feel this way are the stronger ones, more capable of dealing with emotions and reality. A majority of people can't do that which is why those you confided in probably can't either. It's those of us empaths who feel and deal. I know how much it hurts and how frustrating it is when people don't understand. It's not because they don't care, it's because it's something they dont understand and therefore something they fear. Showing truth is not something most people can handle. Mk ost people avoid real feelings to survive.
Posted on 1/22/20 4:10 PM
@NanGram Thanks for posting this, it's beautiful.
I'm an empath as well and it feels like a curse sometimes. I feel like I just give and give emotionally and get no support when I need it. I really have noticed that most people will immediately turn away when faced with someone who's emotionally distressed. It's just too much and too scary for them.
Posted on 1/23/20 1:36 AM
Thanks @NanGram that does really help. It puts a more positive spin on things. Even though I strongly wish things could be different, at least I was brave enough to be honest.