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I really don't feel like living - need support and to talk

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Noclir714

05/08/2018 at 4:23 AM

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Noclir714

Last activity on 09/13/2026 at 9:31 PM

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19 comments posted | 16 in the Depression Forum

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Yes, I now saw your problem, but unfortunately I could not see any more or less suitable solution for your situation. Apparently, you are starting to have a deep depression, and one of the best ways to get out of this state is considered to be high-quality cannabis from a dispensary.

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Veaflang7

08/17/2020 at 8:29 PM

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Veaflang7

Last activity on 09/25/2023 at 1:37 AM

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@Noclir714 I've apparently been too good for a lot of people but I never saw it. I'm my own worst enemy. My mind is like the chambers of a hanging judge.

I really don't feel like living - need support and to talk https://www.carenity.us/forum/depression/living-with-depression/i-really-dont-feel-like-living-need-support-and-to-talk-128 2020-08-17 20:29:15

Veaflang7

08/17/2020 at 8:32 PM

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Veaflang7

Last activity on 09/25/2023 at 1:37 AM

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@Hidden username I know how you feel, my wife wouldn't even go with me to couples therapy and now I'm stuck in a room with her 24/7. I would rather be here. This virus is horrible even for introverts.

Veaflang7

08/18/2020 at 5:03 AM

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Veaflang7

Last activity on 09/25/2023 at 1:37 AM

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What do you do for a living?

Veaflang7

08/19/2020 at 5:35 PM

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Veaflang7

Last activity on 09/25/2023 at 1:37 AM

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@Hidden username I know I do the same thing. Last year I was in a suicidal depression and had to seek help but the insurance company screwed up the billing and now I have to find another therapist but until then this is my therapy lol.

Veaflang7

08/19/2020 at 6:35 PM

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Veaflang7

Last activity on 09/25/2023 at 1:37 AM

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@Hidden username Depression is like a black hole that takes everything away. All hope, the future, the present, throws things back from the past that you don’t want to think about. It’s like a black swamp with no visible means of escape. There are some periods of relief but they don’t last long. It makes you feel like your insides are being torn out.

Veaflang7

08/19/2020 at 6:47 PM

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Veaflang7

Last activity on 09/25/2023 at 1:37 AM

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@Hidden username I spoke with a Jamaican girl for two years before she dumped me. She took my advice, money and then threw me away like an old shoe. I feel your pain.

Veaflang7

08/19/2020 at 10:01 PM

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Veaflang7

Last activity on 09/25/2023 at 1:37 AM

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I look forward to death. Most people fear it, but I embrace it. Being able to lose this aching body and this acid filled brain would be a welcome relief. Everything becomes hard and impossible. Everything becomes a battle and I lose it every time. All my past cruelties come back to me. All the unquenchable yearnings and plague filled memories come back and taunt me with their red eyes filled with a vengeance, getting even for things real or imagined.

This is how I felt a year ago right at about this time, I'm still depressed and of course this pandemic isn't helping but I'm still alive. No matter how bad things get there is some kind of hope.

Veaflang7

08/19/2020 at 10:10 PM

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Veaflang7

Last activity on 09/25/2023 at 1:37 AM

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08/20/2020 at 3:09 AM

@Veaflang7 I work in customer service / coordinator. Right now our company was just bought out by another and a lay off unfortunately occurred so less people and double the work. I actually took today ,Thursday and Friday off. I sit here with anxiety as I type. *eye roll* I tried to have a good day and well I got through another day!

Veaflang7

Edited on 08/20/2020 at 4:37 AM

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Last activity on 09/25/2023 at 1:37 AM

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Sorry to hear that, I went through a number of those. I know the eye roll all too well. I worked at 1-800 Flowers once during a lay off, I was one of 5 in a department that normally consisted of 25 and it was Mother's Day. Most of the flower orders didn't get delivered and I got no less than 14 death threats from Italian guys for whom Mother's Day is more sacred than Christmas. Some of them offered to come by the building and rearrange various parts of my anatomy. They also monitored us non stop because the managers had nothing else to do. They laid off the reps but kept the managers so the manager to rep ratio was almost one to one.

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I really don't feel like living - need support and to talk

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