Thorn, Rose, Bud: Talking about our mental health

@Downandout hello there!  I have been dealing with several mental illnesses since childhood.

I'm leaving this to you because I don't ever want you to think that you're alone in the world . I don't have any family and very few friends.  At one point, I was called a "social butterfly".  My illnesses has caused me to become a "homebody".  

PLEASE invite me as a friend . Maybe we could help each other.

Yours truly, 

Cathy

@Downandout i get it. I'm 64 years old and lived for many years as you do now. But there is hope! I can help you find it.

@Classycathy please accept my friend request. 

Hi, I haven't been on here in a long time. I guess for me my thorn is that I was kind of in a sort of denial about my mental health and wouldn't acknowledge how bad it had gotten and how it was affecting my life. My rose is that I've finally found a therapist who seems really great and is is going to help me! My bud is that because I'm starting to feel better I think I'm ready to go back to school to get the degree I've been wanting for a while now!

@yankeepoodle89 that's so wonderful to hear!!  So many people diagnosed feel they have ended any thing that could be good in life.  Not you!  Give yourself a pat on the back and a "go getem girl".  I hope u will keep us posted and share your knowledge.

Sincerely

Cathy

I feel completely alone right now. I had a psychiatrist that I didn't see for a while because the symptoms u was having made me want to hide from everyone and anyone.. when I tried to get back in they had no record of me seeing him. I was upset they lost my memories so I found a different office. I hate starting over but they pissed me off. I'm currently living with my mom in her husband's house. I need back surgery that I can't have until I go from 310 to 250 or below. I need a possible stint in my heart and knee surgery. I'm out of work because of this and can't drive because all my meds. I don't have that many friends and when I do I can't really hang around them because they have to come to me and mom doesn't like it. It's her call. I end up talking to moms friends sometimes cause they come over to play cards. I got yelled at by mom for discussing our dirty laundry as she called it to her friends. I said that I needed to vent and she said not to them. So now I'm alone again. I hate myself. I don't have a plan in place to kill myself but suicidal ideation and dissociation are my middle names. I thought I'd gotten a way out. To move to a different country to teach but covid hit and all the schools shut down. So I got a job at a forensic psych ward. Super stressful at times but I love it. Loved it. Mom made me make a decision to quit that job or move out cause I was working with covid patients. I ended up quitting for another mental illness type of job which also had a bout with covid. O matter how hard I try, I can't get it through her head that working with confirmed cases is safer than persay Walmart or schnucks. Cause at least we were required to wear PPE and keep a constant track of temperatures and oxygen levels. Idk I'm just frustrated. Sorry for rambling...I've never been on a site like this before.

Angel

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