Patients Autism Spectrum Disorder
Topic of the discussion
Posted on 2/12/20 2:04 AM
For my entire childhood and most of my adult life thus far, I've struggled with making friends. People either decide they don't like me, or will take advantage of me. So, as someone who also suffers from severe social anxiety, how does one make friends, and more so, how does one keep them around?
Beginning of the discussion - 2/17/20How do you make friends? https://www.carenity.us/forum/autism-spectrum-disorder/living-with-behavioural-disorders-mental-illne/how-do-you-make-friends-1541
Posted on 2/17/20 6:16 AM
Hey @Alli_Pisces :) I also struggle with severe social anxiety and I know how much it absolutely sucks. I started my freshman year of college this past August and was terrified about making friends. I was so scared that I agreed to room with a girl from my high school and that I was ok friends with but deep down I am soooo intimidated by her, all because I couldn’t bare to do a random roommate and get stuck with some overly peppy sorority girl. It was pretty hard at first because I only knew my roommate and another girl who graduated a year before us who goes to our college (we are the only 3 from our hs here). Honestly, the best advice I can give to you low key sucks. I’ve found that I have to put myself out there (it hurt just typing that) and I promise you I know how scary and daunting that sounds. I have found one of my new best friends (and future roommate thank god) by saying hi to a girl during a fire drill at 5am. I am so great full for whatever came over me to actually talk to a stranger because I love this girl:) Anyways, it’s still really rough some days. I’ve been to mayyybbbe 3 parties and it’s been 7 months, but honestly that’s better than I was last year. So all in all I’ve learned that sometimes I really just have to bite the bullet and make the first move. About keeping friends.... I’ve already lost maybe 2 friends that I thought were going to be in my life forever, naive I know. But one girl and I just grew apart due to conflicting schedules and are still friendly just no more 2am trips to sonic. The other friend went full on grade A queen B that gave me bad memories of High School. She just straight up told me I was annoying as hell and I was way to meek and should get a backbone. That really hurt and I felt like all the process I had made went down the drain. But 3 days later that fire drill happened and I met my current best friend and I don’t think she’ll ever know how much she has saved me. This is SOOO cheesy and I apologize now, but the best way to keep friends is to just be yourself. I’m a totally muted person around my roommate but around my new friends here I’m a sarcastic marvel/harry potter/mythology GEEK that oddly enough like to hunt and ride horses yet dresses like a grunge hoe. I can’t promise that it will get easier because social anxiety sucks (and don’t listen to the people who say suck it up and get over it) but I will promise you that it does get better!! You can talk to me if you ever need to:)) stay strong<3