I really don't feel like living - need support and to talk

@Brooke2329 I feel you totally!

The struggle is real. I understand how you feel, I been there. Each morning I'm tormented by my thoughts and negative self talk. 

We are all here seeking answers and support. I can tell you I care about you even though I don't know you. 

We are all worthy and we all have a purpose for living even when we don't know it for ourselves.

Sometimes I can barely muster the energy to do anything but curl up in bed. The best I can do some days is eat something and tell myself I love me enough to eat and crawl back to bed. And that's okay!

Love and light to all,

Kevin

I want my pain to end and I’m only seeing one option to achieve this goal of my pain ending 

@Kimmarie I feel this too. My unguarded self feels pain of others and my own mostly being discarded or dismissed because I bare myself open and honest so most people will treat that as submissive or weak and will treat me as such until I snap. Then become startled and victimized so it becomes a lose lose for someone like me

my point being that the future looks like more pain just by being myself 

.this becomes my vicious cycle.

so I’ve started gravitating to expression 

to translate your emotion and create us a beautiful thing. Please think about  and try this in any form you choose . <3

I feel much the same way. My husband passed in 2015 and I haven't gotten over it. Tried suicide twice since then, unsuccessfully. I just can't find a reason to want to stay alive. I just turned 60 and feel like my life is over.

Hi Llind,                                                                I just wanted to reach out and say hi and extend my best wishes to you that you’re having better days. My heart goes out to you for your loss and how badly you’re feeling.                                                                   I’m not in the exact same situation, but similarly the feelings of suicide I can definitely relate. I, too, have just recently turned 60, so I can also relate to those unfriendly feelings of getting older and all that it means, and all on top of the existing depression.     
 My husband still works but I do not, and am mostly home alone. 
I have experienced anxiety and depression for most of my adult life, but was too afraid or ashamed (or both) to admit it. It has caused a lot of trouble for me with family and I have been mostly estranged from them for a good many years. Obviously there’s more to it than just those facts alone, but the details are insignificant to me anyway. I have been basically shunned and ignored and excluded, and my husband as well. It hurts deeply, and while I have never actually attempted suicide, it occupies my thoughts almost daily.                My husband tries but does not really understand how deep it goes for me, so I try to avoid talking about things that will cause yet another argument between us. And that leaves me in the one place I would do almost anything not to be, and that’s alone with my thoughts and feelings.                                                                So, though I know it’s not much, at the very least just please know that you’re not alone.

I'm having a hard time with depression in two ways. Before I met my partner I was a pretty happy girl, then I met the man I love and just to be clear wouldn't change him for the world. I choose him and choose to be with him but he has a deep rooted depression since the age of 12. He watched his mom die, all the women in his life left him or cheated on him. He lives in the past. 

The issue for me is that because of his past, it comes back and haunts me too. When he gets depressed he lashes out on me, blames me for his problems, and stops talking to me for days sometimes weeks. Then when he done being depressed he comes back and is "himself" again. 

He knows I love him, and I know he loves me, but all this is starting to take a toll on me. I will never understand what it's like to loose your mom, have a deadbeat dad and have all women in your life leave. He is suicidal. I know I'm not the best person to talk to for him. 

I guess what I need is a better understanding, how to keep holding on while keeping my health in check, and anything I can do to help his depression process. He won't go for help. So I need help. 

Anyone with advice, or ways that got you to realize that asking for help is not a weakness but strength. 

@Ellanne what would help you to get your husband to understand. Cause I'm kind of in a similar situation as your husband. My bf of 2 years has depression. I try but nothing works and causes fights and he stops talking for days or weeks. I just be there, kiss him and remind him I love him. But I'm curious what would help your husband better understand your situation and tend to your needs. I'm here to learn and be a better partner myself. ❤

I have been feeling hopeless and not good enough, I try really hard. I can't handle competition at work. I can't find real friends here.

Oh Claire, that's not true. You are not hopeless and you are good enough. You have to focus on Claire and not everybody at work . Don't rely on their "credibility assessment" of you and look for approval from them. I don't know what your livelihood is or what your vocation in life is, but you have potential that you don't realize you have and your level of confidence is low as that of your self -esteem. I am a Special Needs Specialist ( working 1:1 with all sorts of special neat kids; both young and old) honestly. If you feel I can help you, then continue writing , Claire. I am very trusting and an exceptional good listener. (both with my heart and my ears lol ), No surprises! . You can overcome this and it will make you so much stronger. okay? Do stay in touch, Claire. You do concern me with your lack of self-confidence and you are missing out on so many good things in your life, >Harry