Hardships of being alone

 I don't know if anyone in here would be able to relate to this but maybe there is someone I don't know.  I guess I want to get this off my mind this morning so maybe I can sleep.  And this seems to be the place to talk about my feelings because no one else seems to care or listen.   Anyways I think one of the biggest hardships in my life is trying to face the reality that because of my mental health disorders I have to spend my days not having anyone in my life that truly loves me.  I have tried my whole life to find the love of my life but no matter who I meet because there's such a stigma about mental illness no one wants to give me the time of day or a chance.  All my relationships most of my life have lasted maybe a month or less.  Once they realize that I have a mental illness they always seem to run and not talk to me anymore.  And the hardest part is they start to like me and once they find out the truth about my disorders they disappear out of my life.  So it's a daily struggle trying to accept at my age that I'm alone when I see all these people out there in relationships so happy and in love and I'm by myself with nobody.   I just think to myself all the time that I have such a big loving heart that has to just go to waste.   Anyways I just needed to discuss this cuz there's no one out there who will listen and I don't know if there's anybody out there who cares.   And the reality is I don't know how much longer I can hang on without having anybody truly love me.

@harry2020 Hey, I understand what you mean about the stigma and feeling alone. I think people don't understand mental illness and have a lot of misconceptions about it. If only they would hang around long enough to see that we're worthy of friendship, partnership and love. Don't worry, you have all of us on here to talk to and we're here for you. You'll find someone for you when you're least looking for it. At least that's what they say and happened to be true in my case.

.I absolutely understand that too.  I have dealt with the stigma most of my life.  It can definitely be lonely and then you feel sorry for yourself and that makes things worse.  Remember it is better to be alone than in a bad relationship.  Trust me.  So if someone doesn't accept you like if you had diabetes or something.  It's not worth it.  You can have a great life through friends, a church community, finding some hobby you enjoy. My sister has a husband and kids and she's always complaining that she has no time for herself.  She is sometimes jealous of me!  So write down on a piece of paper or in a journal the pros and cons of your situation.  And then focus on the pros.  Believe me if you think hard enough or really consider everything no matter how simple: like I like sunshine, I like to color, etc. to anything else more involved you'll find you have more time for these things.  Some people would kill for that.  Everything is how you look at it.  I work with adults with disabilities.  And I have bipolar.  It took me a long time to realize this.  Make the most of your situation now!  I finally woke up one day and felt like I had wasted so much time always wishing my situation was different.  Then you feel regret.  And that's a lousy feeling.  Love and hugs to you

And I did find someone who really loves me and I love him.  And it happened when I was not looking for it at all.

I, too, understand!  There is a stigma, some people can't get past it.  I have been married and divorced twice, and have had other relationships.  The longest one was 8-1/2 years, but glad it ended as he had alcohol problems and gambling problems.  I have grown stronger being on my own, and have learned that I don't 'Need' a man in my life!  I might want one, but time will tell.  I am in assisted living, but still get very lonely.  We are on lock down because of Covid-19.  No visitors, no appts, nowhere to go, except outside the building.  There aren't any activities and there's not much socializing.  I call people a lot to talk, but sometimes wonder if it's too much-if I'm being a 'nuisance'?  I do phone appts with my doctors and therapist. 

We do care, know that!!! <3