Need someone to talk to/Listen to others

I'm 18 and I feel like my life is a mess. I was kicked out of my parents house at 17 because I attempted suicide. My mom is extremely toxic and mentally abusive. She neglected me my whole child hood and I had to get food and clothes from friends because she couldnt be bothered to help me. She had borderline personality disorder and to her I'm evil. my dad feels like he is stuck in a marriage with her bc my brother is autistic and can't live by himself. They don't make enough money to get a divorce. Right after I moved my dad had a heart attack followed by several small strokes. He almost died during surgery and my mother made me feel awful for not being there. she was the one who told me not to come. I work 6 days a week at a crappy fast food job. I make decent money but the stress is ridiculous. I have 5 classes left until I can graduate high school but I just can't seem to focus on school work. I know I'm smart enough to pass but it feels pointless. I hate waking up everyday. Even the good days feel long and dreadful. 

For myself, medications only work with the help of a therapist. Talking with a therapist has allowed me to straighten out my thoughts, put the past in perspective, stop toxic relationships, learn how to say no, try to focus a day at a time to move forward. Chaos in my life was killing me. My therapist saved my life. It is very important to hear myself speak out and have some feedback.

 Hello everyone I am new to this group/site. I have been battling depression for a long time now, I have battled with suicide attempts, days where I dont want to get out of bed or leave my safe place. I have recently had some issues/losses and just straight chaos in life. I feel my self slipping back down that slippery slope and trying to stay positive but it's just the hits just keep coming. Just here to vent to a listening ear that understands what I am going through, hope everyone is doing well 

@JJ757va‍ I am glad you have found this site and this post. 

I am sad to hear you say you are slipping... continue to push to stay positive. Please know you are needed and cared about and reach out for help when and if times get dark. 

Save the suicide hotline number on your phone and call... talk it out. People are here for you. Save the number: 1-800-273-8255

Please come back to this post and reply with what is going on and vent... it helps.

I’m new I’ve been struggling with depression for a long time. Last Year September my husband is 22 years wanted a separation and then a few weeks later my Mom passed away. My husband was seeing a friend of mine from when I was in school. Then in May around my birthday he wanted to work things out. By this time I was working in moving on by myself and our 13 yrd old son and other 5 kids are grown and moved out. It’s didn’t last long maybe a few months. We are still separated and living in the same house. The past couple of months he lost his job of almost 19 years and we was getting the house ready to sell during all of this. To top it off I had to have hip surgery for a bone spur and a tear in my hip last month. Some days we are ok then I asked if we could try to work on our marriage. He said no that set me back I don’t know why I asked. He is starting a new business that starts this coming week. I stopped going to church I was so involved now I can’t do anything I used to enjoy. I’m afraid to go back to work since the place I work I might get demoted or fired when I get back where I work this happens a lot. I didn’t want my position in the first place 3 years ago but we needed the money. If I lose my job I lose everything I’ve worked there for almost 20 years. My husband hasn’t filed for divorce like he said and he knows I won’t. I don’t know what to do? I’m sad all the time now and can’t stop crying. I have no one to talk to. Sorry for the long message!!

@Laurbear143 Don't give up. Life isn't always easy but taking your own life is not the answer. I don't know where you are about God and faith but... God does have a purpose for your life. It may not seem like it right now. Focus on your school and your next steps after you graduate.

I am feeling so alone. At work I always have a smile on my face but when I get home I want to do nothing but disappear. I go from one extreme to the other. Live with my grandkids and have trouble spending time with them

@Sherron I know what that's like - pretending nothing is wrong and hiding behind a fake smile. It's not healthy though. Sometimes I just want to go to work and go home and hide from the world. I have to force myself to go to church or spend time with family and friends - but it usually helps for awhile.

Im sorry to bother guys not sute if i put this here but im really lost right now. Not in general like right now. Its my sons birthday and i cant stay happy today. I know im being mean and have a short fuse but. I i cant get rid of this feeling of not wanting to deal with people. I do t wanna be angery today not today. What do i do how can i be okay right just for a little bit.