Sometimes to show the truth of deep feelings is frightening. Sometimes I wonder if I would be judged by the way I feel. But here I know I won’t be.

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Patients Depression

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Member Carenity
Posted on

Today is the day

The rain just won’t stop

The words keep on coming 

and the pain can’t be buried enough. 

Buried in silence is the greatest scream. 

But know one hears it. 

Behind the mask 

Lies the true soul of them achy bones. 

But who dares to look at a mirror, 

When are left unrecognizable- behind the masquerade. 

To be free 

would be a life of peace.  

But to die? Is left with uncertainty. 

Sometimes left to wonder, 

 if the sacrifice is worth it all?

Beginning of the discussion - 3/11/19

Sometimes to show the truth of deep feelings is frightening. Sometimes I wonder if I would be judged by the way I feel. But here I know I won’t be.
1

Member Carenity
Posted on

@Hidden username‍ I am sorry to hear you struggling still? Is the sacrafice you are speaking of life? And "to be free" death? 

I hope not @Hidden username‍ - please remain strong and reach out to us here. How are you holding up lately?

Sometimes to show the truth of deep feelings is frightening. Sometimes I wonder if I would be judged by the way I feel. But here I know I won’t be.
Member Carenity
Posted on

I don't want to kill myself. Just feeling low. 

Sometimes to show the truth of deep feelings is frightening. Sometimes I wonder if I would be judged by the way I feel. But here I know I won’t be.
Member Carenity
Posted on

I don't like being called an anorexic freak, AMD I want to feel good about myself but not be in a weight that makes others happy. I had an argument with my boyfriend. I told him I want to feel beautiful and confidence within myself and the weight I would like to be at. But he wants me to be at a weight that I Dupont feel comfortable with. To be husky but it doesn't make me feel beautiful. I told him I am struggling emotionally and that I feel really low and him staring me down doesn't help. Because I feel beautiful being skinny he will tell me I'm ugly and called and a psycho bitch. And I'm not happy. All I want is to be happy. I don't understand why he can't understand what I'm trying to say. And it hurts.  

Sometimes to show the truth of deep feelings is frightening. Sometimes I wonder if I would be judged by the way I feel. But here I know I won’t be.
Member Carenity
Posted on

I'm at 115-120 pounds and for my height its normal. I'm working hard to be stable and he doesn't know. But now I just feel More ugly and more alone. I don't know. The process of trying to get better is a struggle, and i dont want attention i just want a friend or the man I lobe to help and show love to me. I get i went through this before in the past but it happens to all of us doesn't it? Or am I just the odd one struggling and relapsed into it. Ink what to say. I just dont want to feeL alone. 

Sometimes to show the truth of deep feelings is frightening. Sometimes I wonder if I would be judged by the way I feel. But here I know I won’t be.
1

Member Carenity
Posted on

Your not. I think iam really messed up  . because I haven't felt my real self in 4 1/2 years. And can't find the right meds. It sucks. But you should be happy the size you want to be. And if he loves you he will understand. If not that's his problem. You got to make you happy 😀

Sometimes to show the truth of deep feelings is frightening. Sometimes I wonder if I would be judged by the way I feel. But here I know I won’t be.
1

Member Carenity
Posted on

Hi Tiffany @Hidden username‍ and @Hidden username‍ thank you both for sharing. I am new to this site and I am glad to hear that I will not be judged here. I look forward to connecting with all of you.

@Hidden username‍ I hope you are able to speak to your boyfriend and he understand. Nobody should not call you such names, especially someone who loves you. You must feel beautiful and how you feel beautiful is most important and he should understand that. I hope you know you are, despite what anyone says.

@Hidden username‍ what meds have you tried? I have switch doctors recently, which seems to have helped. She also switched my meds.

Sometimes to show the truth of deep feelings is frightening. Sometimes I wonder if I would be judged by the way I feel. But here I know I won’t be.
Member Carenity
Posted on

I tried a lot Prozac lithium Wellbutrin Abilify Cymbalta Latuda there is so many I can't even pronounce a remember. But I did get a new doctor . and Iam trying it an old med. Its been 3 months. My mood is good just have no energy or ambition and haven't had time with my breathing.if you need ever to talk. Iam here we all are. An we understand.