I can’t do this anymore
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Here we are again, another day. I wake up everyday with a feeling Of impending doom. My leg starts shaking the second i open my eyes. Ive laid in bed for 2 hours in the dark just hoping to fall back asleep. The sun is up now and I just wish I could sleep or not exist. I’m so tired of this feeling. I’m so worried about things that I shouldn’t even be worried about at this point.
I worry about the future and I worry about my son. He’s only 7 and he needs his mom. But for the past 3 months I’ve basically been bed ridden with crippling anxiety and depression. I cry all day and can’t eat. Sometimes I think he’s be better off without me. All his basic needs are met, however I still feel like I’m not good enough. Im tired of feeling worthless and lonely. I’m tired of feeling like I don’t want to live. I dread each day because it’s just a battle in my brain of self negative talk that I can’t control. I’m on my 3rd week of Prozac, which I’ve taken in the past and it seemed to help. This time around it doesn’t seem to be or I need to give it more time.
Every medication I try the doctors say 4-6 weeks. I feel like I don’t have another 4-6 weeks! Ive been suffering since November! In the beginning my anxiety was causing me to throw up all day for the first month or so. I’m just exhausted and would give anything to feel content. I was fine until November.
I was under the care of a new doctor from august and him changing my meds around to things that gave me bad side effects caused me to have nothing built up in my system which led to a mental snap.
I went to the ER 3 times in 2 months for high blood pressure caused by anxiety. I finally begged him for Prozac because I knew it helped in the past and didn’t have side effects that I remember.
I can’t function, I don’t leave my house. I stay isolated in my room all day just counting the hours to take my night med mirtazapine. It’s pretty sedating and that’s the only time I feel relief. I can’t work because I never know how I’m going to feel. Please god just help me get through this. I have In the past but this time it seems like it’s never going to end. Like I’m never going to be happy again.
I don’t enjoy anything anymore. I feel emotionally detached from everyone and everything. I look worried or sad. Those are my only 2 emotions. I almost 5150d myself Last month but got them to let me go. I just can’t go on another 3 months like this! Why?! Just why can’t I be normal, happy and content?!
hey girl message me privately. I have a lot to say and I really think it can help
What seems odd to me is the fact that we each share the same symptom's for depression and anxiety. However we continue to struggle with getting help, or getting answers. I have tried everything mentioned in this app and have the same depressing thoughts.
I wish I had an answer for everyone. The one consistent help I have is reading the Bible and listening to what Jesus tells me through scripture. Going to church will give you fellowship, get you out of the house with exercise, and give you endless help! Why not try it?
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