Topic of the discussion
Posted on 9/29/18 1:36 AM
What’s the one thing you hide from people every day to the point you don’t want anyone to know, not even someone close to you? Every time something scares me I try not to show it. I look fearless on the outside, but inside I’m like a scared shivering child. Inside I feel so nervous talking to people even in situations where I meet my old ex boyfriend/friend. I wouldn’t know what to call him, but anyways we spoke in person for the first time in years. He’s married, but as he was dating his wife at the time he made me feel like crap, well technically since the day he left me alone. And this scared me. He hugged me, and spoke to me and apologized about everything. Outside I looked calm and happy and was nice and remained positive, but I was terrified inside. Cuz it was a feeling I wasn’t expecting. It felt nice to gain my friend back at the same time. But every day, I am like this. But on the outside, I look and sound confident. But I’m not. I put on a disguise that if you were to meet me, you would be like is this the girl I’m talk to on this site.? Yes it is. So my deepest secret is that no fat from confident, I’m insecure, and shy and afraid, but there is this courage in me that does come out and it’s inside all of us and we may not reconize it but we are all amazing in our own way. Don’t be afraid of saying what fears you. Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.
Beginning of the discussion - 10/4/18Confident on the outside, but on the inside I am not https://www.carenity.us/forum/depression/living-with-depression/confident-on-the-outside-but-on-the-inside-i-am-not-496
Posted on 10/4/18 4:57 AM
Thank you for sharing @Tiffany. I agree with you... Must of us suffering with depression or anxiety have insecurities that can take the best of us, but we have it inside of us to "pull the bull by the horns," we just have to find and sustain the courage.
I am glad you are aware you have that courage! I am aware I have it also, but it is easier said then done, to actually use it. Do you know what I mean?
I can lay in bed and think of how I should have acted or what I should do, but I find myself trying to appease everyone, being to timid to say no, or too shy to speak out, but I know I have it in me... I can feel it.
Posted on 10/4/18 5:01 AM
@Tiffany Thanks for sharing! You seem very strong in all of your posts here and from the little I have communicated with you! You are an inspiration to many Tiffany. Keep it up.
Love your saying "Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. "
Posted on 10/4/18 5:14 AM
I do understand and can relate greatly, I do struggle with it and many times I’m too shy or nervous to speak. A lot of my friends call me the quite one. I am glad you can feel the courage inside of you. You are never alone. Keep strong.
Posted on 10/5/18 5:31 AM
@Tiffany @gottgetbtr sounds like you both are speaking about me. I feel the same. Stay strong. I try to.
Posted on 10/5/18 5:37 AM
Thanks for your words @Tiffany. I am the quite one and reserved one also. You keep strong as well. All the best.
Posted on 10/8/18 10:25 AM
That I tried sucidie twice that my family knows nothing about
Posted on 10/8/18 6:24 PM
My struggle is not wanting to talk about it. It becomes real the more you talk about it. And it scares me. Family and friends expect you to be the strong one. When I'm falling apart myself.
Posted on 10/10/18 3:31 AM
Thank you For sharing, im new to this community, i can really relate. I have hallucinations and weird beliefs that i hid since childhood. This led to all sorts of problems. I pretended to live like everyone else. I quacked like a duck, looked like a duck, but i felt like an ousider. Sharing the truth set me free, and i am working to get the help i need.
Posted on 10/10/18 5:03 AM
@AlissamF I am glad you are getting the help needed? How are things going? Improvement?