Patients Autism Spectrum Disorder
Topic of the discussion
Posted on 6/16/21 1:43 PM
J am new on this site and I'm not sure how this all works just yet. So I guess I will just spit It out. I am a 39 year old woman living with Bipolar type 1. It is a living nightmare! I went undiagnosed until I was 31. The Drs have tried lots of combo's of meds, but the last couple years I've been on Prozac, Vraylar, and lorazepam. The lorazepam is not enough for the anxiety that I have. The medication keeps me able to semi function. By that I mean I can get out of bed, do chores, take showers...but the aniety it overwhelms me. I feel like I'm drowning and constantly gasping for air...then there's the mania...I spend, spend, spend. I am on top of the world. Still anxious, but not crippling like the other days. I go through days where I'm so depressed that I can't even see another life but the hand I was dealt and it will never get better. Having this condition has left me on an emotional roller coaster, lonely, and feeling like a failure. I am so alone. Even with people around me I feel lonely. I have yet to meet anyone that understands this life. I could really use a hug like a long hug or a friendly conversation. Feels good to kinda let that all out. Maybe I'm not alone, if you would like a friend I am right here.
Beginning of the discussion - 6/16/21Bipolar, it's a lonely world... https://www.carenity.us/forum/autism-spectrum-disorder/living-with-behavioural-disorders-mental-illne/bipolar-its-a-lonely-world-3451
Posted on 6/16/21 4:27 PM
I completely understand! Hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Even if you make a friend a manic episode or a depressive one tends to push them away or they can't handle it. If we had cancer or even a broken bone they would be there but since it's a mental disease no one likes to put in that effort. Hugs to you and one day at a time.