I really don't feel like living - need support and to talk

I have wanted to die many times since my 2 attempts in 1992 and the 1993. I through myself into spiritual quests/work and have not tried since. However, I still feel depressed often and get mad and sad about it even at/to the ~ creator/creatrix. All I know is it passes and yes age has made it harder in other ways. But I keep researching and praying and I get answers. Recently, a dream said I was feeling bad from too many pills. I take a lot of supplements and antidepressants so I have cut "way" back on supps. and reduced 3 antidep. that haven't worked in a long time. And I am feeling better guys and gals. Also started using a light box, spot magnets over accupressure points for depression, and listening to music, while awake and asleep, with subliminal messages for depression. Hope this helps someone. Praying for you all dear ones.

@Truckergeorge I understand, you just hate being alone. Trust me I know the feeling

Thank you,I've been alone no wife,24 years,it's not easy,thanks for caring,I wish you the best

@Truckergeorge Do you have any kids? and same to you

Wow it's crazy to see a thread with so many people who feel like I do. I'll add my 2 cents. I was born with a pretty horrible birth defect. I hate going out in public, I hate meeting people. I hate talking to people. I'm judged before I have a chance to speak. Everywhere I go I see people whispering and looking at me. I try to ignore this. But it's really, really, really hard to do. If you can go out in public and just be a normal person, I would consider this a real blessing. 

 Hi briangatsu,  sorry to hear,  some people are just mean and judgemental.  But in this day and age, I think a lot of people are more educated, more empathetic and sympathetic about deformities/disabilities.   

I recommend you watch this link:

Watch "Fr Joseph Edattu VC - How to overcome hurt feelings" on YouTube
https://youtu.be/wS_AG3DClns

Try it sometime, hope it helps?

@Tamra1 I know what you're feeling sweetheart living with a narcissist is a real blast if you can ignore it about impossible

@Dcass22 @Ashleym hi honey, just remember a year from now your life will be 100% different. I promise. 

@briangatsu you just blessed us all with your comment. All those people you see staring at you are showing their ugliness INSIDE

Thank you!