I really don't feel like living - need support and to talk

@firefly444 it sounds like we deal with some of the same things. 

One of my issues is my age. I'm 52, I just don't feel there is enough time. I am a heart transplant recipient 8+ years. The transplant reduces my life expectancy to my early 60s. There is a chance I do well and live longer but who knows. Or.. who wants to.

I wouldn't care if tomorrow was my last day. I'm tired. Tired of it all.

My name is Dave by the way, I live in Missouri and am retired. 

I try not to be around people much. We live on 10 very secluded acres and I should love life, but I don't. 

All I want is to feel good and love my family but the fist often gets in the way.

@TaoPeace‍ I also understand not wanting to be around others and hoping to love life but I never do. I don't know why it's so tough, but it is. I haven't had a real job in 2 years now. I was a business analyst at corporate now I deliver food, and that's if I'm having a good day. Eventually we're going to run out of money because of this damn depression and anxiety that just eat me alive. With 2 little kids, it's terrifying to think of.

I do hope you find a way to see the joy in life again and that your health and heart remain strong just the same.

Do either of you take medication to help deal with your depression?

I’m 39, been feeling really lost lately.  I don’t know if it’s a midlife crisis but I’ve been really discouraged.  My depression and anxiety has definitely worsened. :/

Your at the age when your perspective about life begins to change . It's a good time expand your horizons emotionally and spiritually. 

Also the world is changing and there's so much information about everything , it's hard to know what to believe. 

  I'm here for you 

I'm 95% certain my wife's unfaithful. I ask her to tell me the truth, but she denies it and says I'm just delusional because of my anxiety, depression and paranoia. The problem is I can hear her whispering from the basement while she's in the bedroom. I don't want to hear it but it's hard not to and it's ripping me apart. I just need her to tell the truth but the more I bring it up the more upset she becomes with me so I can't keep trying to let her come clean. My depression has worsened because of this. I can't leave her because I do love her, we have 2 younger kids, and that 5% chance she's not cheating. Again, it's tearing me up that she's probably not being honest. What am I supposed to do now because as long as she's not honest with me I'll just continue going down hill.

First impressions are usually right on target . You could be right . The problem is that you are not in the right frame of mind to deal with this . You have alot things happening at the same time . 

You must pick your battles carefully . Concentrate on getting yourself the help you need  .  When you are in a stronger state of mind , You can deal with this problem logically.

Work on staying strong , taking care of yourself for the kids sake . They need their father and you need them. 

@Chadshep I feel you, but the best thing you can do is think positively and try not to feel so sorry for yourself. Get the negative thoughts out of your head because they only make it worst. If you repeat I can do this and just keep trying to get better, trust me you will get better and feel better. I understand what your going through completely. When I get depressed  (which is 24/7 of my life) I try my best to not feel sorry for myself. Instead, I look for a distraction or a hobby to help me not think about it. Like listening to music, watching movies, or talking to my friends. You ever need or want to chat I'm literally here always LOL.

Ive been living with depression and suicidal thinking since right before i was 4 years old. My parents would beat me and verbally abuse me on a daily basis. I used to pray and pray begging to not be apart of this world. I didnt realize it was suicidal thoughts till lter on in life and once i could mentally grasp ways to kill myself thats all i would think about daily until i was 18. Im now 38 and i have been obssesively thinking about it again and have spent two months in the hospitals since august and i just got out last week from another. Its always just a med change they just need to change my meds. I had all the pills i needed in my amazon cart to say peace but couldnt bring myself to purchase them. If you feel like me and undertsand that pain let me know please. I feel so alone. 

I promise your not alone I felt the same too but there are alotta people out there that feel the same as we do itll get better or I keep telling myself that lol