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- I really don't feel like living - need support and to talk
I really don't feel like living - need support and to talk
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castledepress
Good advisor
castledepress
Joined in 2020
@Junebug1954 I know I do the same thing. Last year I was in a suicidal depression and had to seek help but the insurance company screwed up the billing and now I have to find another therapist but until then this is my therapy lol.
castledepress
Good advisor
castledepress
Joined in 2020
@Junebug1954 Depression is like a black hole that takes everything away. All hope, the future, the present, throws things back from the past that you don’t want to think about. It’s like a black swamp with no visible means of escape. There are some periods of relief but they don’t last long. It makes you feel like your insides are being torn out.
castledepress
Good advisor
castledepress
Joined in 2020
@Sammy120 I spoke with a Jamaican girl for two years before she dumped me. She took my advice, money and then threw me away like an old shoe. I feel your pain.
castledepress
Good advisor
castledepress
Joined in 2020
I look forward to death. Most people fear it, but I embrace it. Being able to lose this aching body and this acid filled brain would be a welcome relief. Everything becomes hard and impossible. Everything becomes a battle and I lose it every time. All my past cruelties come back to me. All the unquenchable yearnings and plague filled memories come back and taunt me with their red eyes filled with a vengeance, getting even for things real or imagined.
This is how I felt a year ago right at about this time, I'm still depressed and of course this pandemic isn't helping but I'm still alive. No matter how bad things get there is some kind of hope.
castledepress
Good advisor
castledepress
Joined in 2020
Bert74
Bert74
Joined in 2020
@castledepress I work in customer service / coordinator. Right now our company was just bought out by another and a lay off unfortunately occurred so less people and double the work. I actually took today ,Thursday and Friday off. I sit here with anxiety as I type. *eye roll* I tried to have a good day and well I got through another day!
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Bert
castledepress
Good advisor
castledepress
Joined in 2020
Sorry to hear that, I went through a number of those. I know the eye roll all too well. I worked at 1-800 Flowers once during a lay off, I was one of 5 in a department that normally consisted of 25 and it was Mother's Day. Most of the flower orders didn't get delivered and I got no less than 14 death threats from Italian guys for whom Mother's Day is more sacred than Christmas. Some of them offered to come by the building and rearrange various parts of my anatomy. They also monitored us non stop because the managers had nothing else to do. They laid off the reps but kept the managers so the manager to rep ratio was almost one to one.
LittleAtHeart
LittleAtHeart
Joined in 2020
I don't really know what to say cause I've never been on this forum before but I just wanted to say that I'm sad the world has to be so horrible and I hope everyone here finds happiness in their lives and a will to keep going. :)
OnlyAmy
Good advisor
OnlyAmy
Joined in 2020
@castledepress What is the image you posted? Did you make it? If so it's really cool!
castledepress
Good advisor
castledepress
Joined in 2020
@OnlyAmy Thanks so much Amy, yes, I made it, I'm a visual artist when I'm not battling depression lol.
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Tamra1
Good advisor
Tamra1
Joined in 2018
Yes, I now saw your problem, but unfortunately I could not see any more or less suitable solution for your situation. Apparently, you are starting to have a deep depression, and one of the best ways to get out of this state is considered to be high-quality cannabis from a dispensary.
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