Depression and infidelity

Hi don’t know where to begin so forgive me. I am 36 male been married 11 years never thought of another woman til recently. Started down a depression mid life crisis spiral of pain.started crushing on a 22 year old. I feel pain hatred and complete disgust for myself. I can’t stand to be around me anymore told my wife and stopped talking to the girl from work but only seem too make things worse.. can’t seem too dig myself out of this hole I have no one too talk to and my wife told me that I never should have let her know I have to go to work every day and it feels like hell

@Darkside777 Hello Darkside777, welcome to the forum and I'm sorry to hear you're going through all of that. Let me tag some members who can maybe share their advice with you.

Hello members, I hope you don't mind me tagging you. Do you have any advice for Darkside777? What can he do to help his situation and his mental health? Feel free to share your advice and support, we're all here to help one another!
@MareBear80‍ @Amilialove11‍ @Kearly‍ @tmensink‍ @Christylynn92‍ @Hannahr32‍ @Chris12‍ @Onederwmn2020‍ 

Take care,
Courtney

Darkside777 I'm so sorry that you're going thru this situation. I know it seems like hell now, but you can get thru this, one step at a time. First, I would highly recommend finding a good therapist if you don't have one already. Mine is invaluable to me, sometimes i see her every week, other times i can go months without needing to talk to her. Secondly, and this might seem kind of hokey but there are two books that i've read that have helped me with my depression/in the pit moments like it sounds like you're having. One is The Mindful Way through Depression and the second is The Mindful Path To Self Compassion. It's important to still love yourself, be kind to yourself and value yourself when dealing with this disease. The wife situation, maybe bring her home some flowers once in awhile, try to explain to her that you are reaching out for help, not just for your own sake but so you can be healthier in your relationship with her because she is the one you want. I don't know if any of this makes any sense or sounds like a big ole pile of donkey doo buts it's just my opinion.

@Darkside777 Hey, I hope you're doing ok. I agree with @Onederwmn2020‍, I think finding a therapist could really help you. It really helped me work through a lot of things I'd been struggling with. Maybe a therapist could help you forgive yourself and love yourself. And maybe if your wife is ok with it, maybe trying a couples therapy session could be beneficial. But I think it's important that you forgive yourself and be kind to yourself. You will get through this.