Topic of the discussion
Posted on 7/6/18 8:57 AM
My best friend and I were FaceTiming the other day. She was telling me about all of her friends and all of the times they hang out together. I recently moved out of the city we lived in. So she lived there and I lived hundreds of miles away. I move a lot. I’m used to being the new girl. I haven’t had a solid true friend group since 5th grade. When she was done talking about her friends I started making up stories about my friends. I said that we hung out all the time and got drunk and partied. Then I said I had a boyfriend and that him and his best friend fought over me. I don’t think I’ve ever lied so good in my life. I even made fake snapchats for them. I message them on my account, log out, log into the fake ones, message me back and repeat. I guess you could say it’s a way I cope with not having any real friends. I helps me on some days but on others it just reminds me that I have no friends and no one to talk to. I don’t know why I put myself through this torture. Oh wait never mind. I do know why.
Beginning of the discussion - 7/17/18I lied to my best friend about my "good" life https://www.carenity.us/forum/depression/living-with-depression/i-lied-to-my-best-friend-about-my-good-life-266
Posted on 7/17/18 1:00 PM
I read your story and that sounds SO familiar. Having difficulties in making friends? Just like I am. I am satisfyingly awkward around people. Maybe the difference is just I'm good at lying and very good at hiding things.
Posted on 7/20/18 11:15 PM
@Raeearll , have you tried joining a group in your local community?
Posted on 8/9/18 8:31 AM
@Raeearll can totally relate with you here. I'm in several chatgroups and for the longest time I fabricated so many lies to show myself in a good light or be relatable to others. It became a habit and actually prevented me from making any bonds as I knew it would all be a lie on my part. It also further worsened my feeling of loneliness.
Just recently though, someone made me bare myself truthfully for possibly the first time in my life. It was both liberating and painful. Liberating in that I was being honest and it felt good, painful because I was ashamed of my past actions and time wasted. Lately I'm striving to be more honest in my dealings with everyone I encounter. At the very least I can and should be honest with myself