Topic of the discussion
Posted on 8/15/18 7:00 AM
Hey everyone, I hope you are all doing well.
I don’t know how to express this in words. Part of me wants to speak and part of me is afraid. I am use to keeping everything in and not crying but I feel like I’m losing myself. I am afraid of many things and yet I feel like I ruin every ones lives. I try to make everyone happy. But I am losing myself again and I’m not happy. I feel lost, alone and confused. At times I hate myself because I feel like all I do is hurt people and sometimes I wonder why god even put me here on earth. I don’t feel important and often I feel like every one is better off with out me. But at the same time I get hurt. I look for the good in the worse people, I only want to help others, which people see, but I put on a brave face and inside I’m scared, afraid, I feel like a baby deer left in the wild to die. I don’t share how I feel to anyone. I just got the courage to tell my boyfriend that I deal with depression, anxiety and that I struggle being around people, especially a large crowd. I finally told him music I liked and never said anything cuz he disapproves of it cuz he doesn’t like it. But I’m glad I had the guts to tell him. I have a lot that I keep locked up inside, behind a door with lock and key and brick walls in a cage. And I didn’t know where else to go. So thank you just letting me vent.
Beginning of the discussion - 8/15/18I feel like I am losing myself https://www.carenity.us/forum/depression/living-with-depression/i-feel-like-i-am-losing-myself-351
Posted on 8/15/18 5:49 PM
@Tiffany I Think everyone here feels that way in one form or another. Myself, I am a very private person in real life and tend to shut everyone out of my life. But surprisingly online I am a chatty cathy. Perhaps its the anonimity that helps me bring out what is inside of me out into the open. In any case I urge everyone to do the same. I feel very comfortable here in this site. No judgement only understanding here I have come to find. So hope you continue to share and vent with us Tiffany and hopefully it will help you and maybe translate into real life :)