Topic of the discussion
Posted on 4/21/21 8:52 PM
I have been married for almost 15 years. We have 2 adopted children 12 and 9. My husband doesn't have a proper job, he owns an Agricultural business that he supplements with money from a trust left to him by his parents. I work a full time job with hours from 3am to noon. My hours are so drastic because we decided to move away from where my work office is. I have to maintain the hours of where my work office is.
Because of the work my husband does there is not a steady income. I have made some not so good decisions to help him get his business going and to help renovate the house we live in and the house on his farm. Because of this I carry a huge debt and entered a debt program that is helping me get it taken care of.
My husband is not so nice a person to me and the kids. He is not physical nor has he ever hurt any of us physically, but the mental abuse the 3 of us take on a daily basis keeps me buried in a pit of despair and depression. I feel there is no way out of this huge bottomless pit I am living in.
I can't leave as I can't even afford anything. I have no where to go here. I don't know anyone that well. All my friends are his friends too so I can't go to them. I can't go to the church because he is on the security team and is thought of more. I have stopped attending because I can't keep hidden behind the mask anymore.
I feel lost and can't find anything or anyway to change things.
Beginning of the discussion - 4/22/21I feel like I am in prison..... https://www.carenity.us/forum/depression/living-with-depression/i-feel-like-i-am-in-prison-3283
Posted on 4/22/21 4:24 AM
Hi Ms. Willey
Hang in there... Please go back to church...prayer can change things..Plus all you really have is GOD...You can find support from maybe one person at church. Please dont isolate your self. I too feel like I am in prison. My husband too also mentally abusive. But I am not going to let him steal my joy..my life...Hang in...keep praying..find something you enjoy and DO IT..walk...exercise...time with kids...Dont let husband still your joy..also start saving any money you can. I have faith we will both be happy one day...
Posted on 4/27/21 12:52 AM
It may be a hard step to take, but reaching out to anyone is very often better than no one; do you have parents or other family you could speak to this about? You might have to have a serious conversation with your husband about finances and you could use all the support you can get.