I feel empty

I feel empty. My everyday life always leaves me with a feeling of dissatisfaction to the point that I can no longer get any pleasure out of doing the things I use to love doing.  Sooner or later I end up getting bored out of yet another thing and I get to thinking that it's all just meaningless. Right now as I write this thankfully I'm not down stuck in a funk like I usually be. But when I am it's like I just want to go isolate I'm a cold a d dark place and be away from everyone. I've been a drug addict and an alcoholic for about 16 years now and although in denial at first now I seriously am starting to think that the drugs and alcohol have really messed me up. Honestly I think I've lost it. I just don't have the same drive to live that I had before I started using. Now I go through my days just wanting everything to be over with just so I can go a be by myself and so nothing. Every day at the end of the day I always feel the same way. I feel like I've messed up my life and that it's too messed up to be fixed. I'm 32  years old and half of the lifetime that I have lived I have wasted it away using drugs and drinking to numb feelings that I don't know how to cope with.

If you yet draw breath then you have a chance to live don't think that those days that you were using as baggage that is holding you down think of them as the steps that got you to were you are that way you can say that because of those days I now know the type of person that I want to be and keep that thought in your mind because like I said if you are still breathing it's not over yet so don't give in you are Worth this second chance