Coping with loss

Within a period of 8 months, I lost two 16-year-old cats, my mother, and then my 95-year-old grandmother. Now I am living in fear that I will lose my uncle, my brother and my son as they are all at-risk. The weight of the world feels like it is upon me all the time. I suffer from bi-polar to put the icing on the cake. I get bad spells of depression and so very very dark days.  I need to some light to hold onto.