Topic of the discussion
Posted on 5/13/21 11:36 AM
Okay. I’m new to this but I’ll try to explain the situation the best I can. How would you deal with always feeling so.. disappointed. Like, people always do things to hurt you and after a while you just.. don’t know how to continue dealing with it. I was let down by my birth mom who gave me up when I was born due to the guh she was with didn’t want to raise another mans child. I don’t know my birth father, neither does my birth mom it seems. Being adopted and always being bullied in school for it. Having a family member you thought you could trust molest you. Not ever knowing how a guy should treat you, so always pick the shittest ones who either cheat, manipulate you, or abuse you. Finally find a good guy and screw it up cause of the ptsd caused from everyone screwing your over. I told myself I would never move on after him. Well I tried.. needless to say I got screwed over once again. I’m 29 years old and that’s 29 years to much at this point. I feel absolutely like giving up.
Beginning of the discussion - 5/26/21How do you deal with constantly feeling let down by other people? https://www.carenity.us/forum/depression/living-with-depression/bad-luck-3357
Posted on 5/26/21 10:28 PM
@anonymousbabe420 I think putting trust in other people is one of the hardest things we have to do, because like you said, you never know when they're going to let you down. I'm really sorry you've been through all of that, I'm sure it doesn't help you putting yourself out there with other people. Hang in there, you'll find someone who's worthy of you and who can be there for you!
Posted on 6/1/21 7:28 PM
I understand how you're feeling. I do not have the exact same situations that have lead me to my empathy but similar. My parents were the kind of parents who should not have had children. They hated noise, mess, and everything else children are. I had ADHD growing up and they were constantly forcing a new drug on me every year. I had terrible reactions to all of them and it didn't help them with their patience. They still pinched my ears, yanked my arms, beat me with a belt leaving bruises up my back. They would make fun of me when I cried. When I was 16, they got a divorce and they fully stopped caring about me. They didn't care who I was with, where I was going, or if I even came home. I went out with a guy I thought I could trust. He was sweet and kind, he told me he loved me. I confided in him and he listened to the feelings/pain that my parents ignored. I felt like he truly cared about me but all he cared about was losing his virginity because all the guys at school were hounding him about it. I wasn't putting out as much as he'd like so he just forced himself on me when we were in the back of his vehicle. He was too heavy to push off and the front seat had my arms locked in. I stayed with him for almost 3 years because the only thing my mom did preach to me all the time was that you only have sec with your husband. My friends found out about the way he treated me and helped me escape that situation. I met another guy who I thought cared about me. I made my intentions clear, that I didn't want to date unless it was for marriage. He said he felt the same way. Long story short, he pulled me away from my family, my friends, and when I had negative feelings he would give me a joint or a bottle of vodka. 4 years into that relationship, I realize how toxic it had gotten, I asked him when we would get married and he told me he never intended on marrying me. 4 years of my life, wasted.
I met my now husband, he seemed great at first... its about 3 years later and he's so mean. He gets so irritated when I have negative emotions, he calls me dramatic and tells me I make things up. He curses at me and says things that he knows will tear me apart and justifies it by saying he was just trying to get me to shut up and that he doesn't actually mean it.
I also don't have any friends to talk to anymore. Since I dedicated my life to Christ, they all left me and called me brainwashed. Church is how I recovered from my addiction to alcohol and reliance on majuana to feel calm. I didn't invite them or preach to them, they just called me brainwashed and treated me like I had a disease. I haven't talked to them in 4 years.
I'm very active at my church, I lead massive groups of people. I'm also new at our church we just moved to so I don't want anyone to know I'm struggling mentally, at least not while I'm smack in the middle of the storm. I feel like I have no one to talk to. I don't trust anyone. I have a hard time being close to anyone. I'm starting to feel like it's impossible.
To answer the question how I deal with being let down, it's God. Which may seem like a cop-out answer, but it's true in my case. God is there for me always. He comforts me when my heart breaks. He picks me up and encourages me to keep on. I'm still struggling but God is the reason I keep going. I hope this helps. I'm not 100% better but the emotional pain is much more bareable than before.