Living with

I completely understand as I don’t have anyone to talk to also. I’m a widow & I live alone. My oldest son died in 2021 & my youngest son & his family live 3 hours. My father is dead & my mother has chronic back pain & is immobile. My younger sister lives with our mother & she is going through a divorce from her husband who abandoned her. My sister doesn’t visit me, help me, call me & rarely texts me. I have various cousins, a niece & nephew that are spread out in nearby states but are hours away from me. After I told my friends I had cancer, they quit contacting me. I have learned how to be my own care giver. It has been very difficult. I’ll admit I’ve been depressed, cried a lot, felt sorry for myself but I never gave up. I prayed & read my Bible everyday. Then I found cancer groups online like this one where I could share what I was going through & got empathetic responses. That really kept me going. I hope you find someone to talk to but I highly recommend the online cancer chat groups.

I have also battled depression long before getting cancer. I was on antidepressants for many years that did help tremendously, but you have to find the “one” that works for you. I lost my husband in 2015 unexpectedly and it truly turned my world upside down and inside out. I’ve never been the same.

I was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic cervical cancer in 2018. Needless to say, dealing with this without my partner, has been UNBELIEVABLE HARD!! I have amazing grown kids (youngest is 19 in few days) and 10 beautiful grandkids. They definitely help keep me going & I love Jesus and He definitely is my strength when I just feel I can’t go on anymore!! Sometimes I want to throw my hands up and give up this fight. The chemo, the endless radiation, the pain, nausea, diarrhea, constipation, anxiety… the list goes on and on…. But, I do feel like I’m still here for a purpose & I love helping others! I want to be a light to anyone I can be. I want to help pray with others & for others because I’ve personally experienced the power of prayer!!! I want to listen, to give a smile or a hug, maybe just an encouraging word… life is TOUGH. We ALL have our battles but when I’m at my lowest, I’m always reminded of what I DO have to be thankful for! All the many reasons I need to keep battling this horrible condition… I too love music and believe it’s very therapeutic. I will crank up the praise music or some dance songs or whatever I’m in the mood for at that time. I open up the blinds and let light in. I try to do everything I can to NOT allow the depression and darkness to overtake me! I go to Jesus and lay it all at His feet with tears pouring onto my cheeks… I cry out to my love that is no longer here on earth, to my mom who’s also gone… I make myself pick up the phone and send a message to my bff who prays for and with me. Most of the time I don’t “feel” like doing these things, but I make myself because I HAVE TO! Our emotions and feelings are so important during our fight- without the positivity, the hope, the light, I personally know I cannot win this!!! And I also know I’m not alone- I have all you amazing fighters, warriors to help me!!!

Don't give in, don’t give up before YOUR MIRACLE HAPPENS!!!! 🥰❤️🙏🏼