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The anger that comes with cancer, how do you stop it from consuming you?
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Somya.P
Community managerGood advisor
Somya.P
Community manager
Last activity on 10/27/2025 at 4:46 PM
Joined in 2023
776 comments posted | 30 in the Cancer Forum
24 of their responses were helpful to members
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Hi @Ruby3512,
Thank you for trusting the community with something this raw. Your anger, not just at the illness, but at the unfairness, the stolen time, the isolation, the identity loss, the pain, it makes complete sense. When someone is fighting every single day just to stay alive while others get to live normally, anger is not just understandable, it’s almost inevitable. And the way you say you “pretend” so others aren’t burdened, that is a kind of exhaustion and frustration most people never see.
You asked something very real: how do you actually live with the anger without it consuming you? So I want to open this up to those who have been in a similar place:
Have you ever felt this kind of anger toward your illness, your body, or the unfairness of what it has taken from you?
What has helped you release or live alongside that anger, especially when therapy or support systems stop being enough?
Is there anything, even small, that made the anger feel less suffocating over time?
@joebenmiss @hmsydney @dorisj @Enfemia @relifordcedrick @Hseechan55 @purfekt10 @Jergy56 @Tmurdock @sixfthrlyblonde @Zuccaro @Purplelady @Jolie60 @Karanmojica @HawaiianLau @angelagayer @Kimgordon66 @Keeling @bagchi @apninasus @Sharon12 @werslaves @Pdiddy21 @ZellRandle @ElaineSanders @Demp4000 @Jachich @Janice547 @Blaine78 @MManko @lillie @Rocshell @ewalker @jessicanmckinney1984 @BethTen @Betio68 @Bonnie1 @Babag11 @jlauterbach4973 @Glamma7 @MARICAEVERETT @Icemanwess @BKHill @JLMonkman @wjhellyer @Ronrox63 @Gerelle @Suez39 @tinkerbell1950 @Barbgm54 @jimmyd @paulak @Olveraangel @handsumque @realtor @JusLori @Positivevibes @Janice69 @Rofo10775 @Wesnet @Deeann @Ruby3512 @Sleepyhead @Sarajane @Sweetie @Lods10.10.2023 @Jkwood @MelissaSWFL @joannie @CathyP @eddymarz37 @Daynubi @CoffeeCup64 @Moiresatin @Tammylh @Denise67 @delaneydon08 @Smokitcat @AKLADY @KikiGoodman @Mimi321 @Dfhegwood @docein @ishlicense @Geena81 @Smileforever @mapesphill @Rsmith21845 @crdnovelties @MikeLaForest @m.stakel @LarryVote @Manaiakalani @Melaniek618 @MasterEdwards @Enzclar @Bjmadewell @mrsnee1965 @Aruss129
If you’ve walked through this stage, your experience might help someone who is still in it.
Take care, and thank you again for saying out loud what many people feel but never voice,
Somya from the Carenity team 🌼
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DCline3dogs
I completely understand as I don’t have anyone to talk to also. I’m a widow & I live alone. My oldest son died in 2021 & my youngest son & his family live 3 hours. My father is dead & my mother has chronic back pain & is immobile. My younger sister lives with our mother & she is going through a divorce from her husband who abandoned her. My sister doesn’t visit me, help me, call me & rarely texts me. I have various cousins, a niece & nephew that are spread out in nearby states but are hours away from me. After I told my friends I had cancer, they quit contacting me. I have learned how to be my own care giver. It has been very difficult. I’ll admit I’ve been depressed, cried a lot, felt sorry for myself but I never gave up. I prayed & read my Bible everyday. Then I found cancer groups online like this one where I could share what I was going through & got empathetic responses. That really kept me going. I hope you find someone to talk to but I highly recommend the online cancer chat groups.
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DCline3dogs
I completely understand as I don’t have anyone to talk to also. I’m a widow & I live alone. My oldest son died in 2021 & my youngest son & his family live 3 hours. My father is dead & my mother has chronic back pain & is immobile. My younger sister lives with our mother & she is going through a divorce from her husband who abandoned her. My sister doesn’t visit me, help me, call me & rarely texts me. I have various cousins, a niece & nephew that are spread out in nearby states but are hours away from me. After I told my friends I had cancer, they quit contacting me. I have learned how to be my own care giver. It has been very difficult. I’ll admit I’ve been depressed, cried a lot, felt sorry for myself but I never gave up. I prayed & read my Bible everyday. Then I found cancer groups online like this one where I could share what I was going through & got empathetic responses. That really kept me going. I hope you find someone to talk to but I highly recommend the online cancer chat groups.
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Ruby3512
Ruby3512
Last activity on 10/27/2025 at 4:46 PM
Joined in 2023
1 comment posted | 1 in the Cancer Forum
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Besides the mental health challenges of having cancer and the exhaustion of treatment. How do you handle the anger? My birth mother has 5 kids I am the oldest daughter but her 2nd child and I am my dad's oldest. I have had 2 cancers was not even in remission 2 years and I am once again fighting renal cell carcinoma stage IV metastasis. I am angry! Angry I am fighting non stop for the last 3 years come Halloween to stay alive and not that I wish cancer on anyone but everyone else is healthy and happy. Meanwhile my life has become nothing but a series of doctors, tests, labs, and enough pills to fill an entire dresser draw. I am angry my life has basically stopped I can no longer physically do the things I love, I am in constant uncontrolled pain from the cancer. Haven't eaten hardly anything in 3 years but due to all the steroids gained soooo much weight. The list of things I am angry at would take so long to type. I pretend enough to fool people that I am not angry but deep down I just want to scream at the injustice of my body trying to end my life before I am ready. So how does anyone else deal with the anger that cancer brings them. I am in therapy once a week its not helping. My family and friends are over the cancer woman and my struggles. They have their happy lives to live and their jobs and my struggles just bring them down. So how does one get over being angry at all the damage cancer has caused? Its a fair question to ask yourself. Am I angry but hiding it? How do I stop being angry and move on?