Feeling like I don't live up to others' expectations of me
- 51 views
- 3 times supported
- 4 comments
All comments
Joined in 2020
jbryant0509
jbryant0509
Last activity on 08/15/2020 at 4:07 PM
Joined in 2020
2 comments posted | 2 in the Living with depression group
Rewards
Explorer
Um.. I really don't like displaying my feelings on any platform, but I am at the point of being broken. Well I guess I've already been broken I'm only just now admitting it. I don't want to write this for people to agree with how I feel. I am writing this in hopes that someone could try to help me figure this out. I just need someone to listen because in my family, no one listens. There's too much going on for us to just stop and listen to feelings. Even with the pandemic going on, there still isn't enough time for them to listen. So I just distance myself and sit in my room or sleep all day to get the day over with. On days when I find myself restless, I don't like being in the house. I just go outside and sit in front of our house longing for more. Especially at night. I stare at the stars and just get this feeling in my chest. It's sadness that I feel. I want to be happy and to be in a some what happy family. But I know that is only a dream, so I continue going through the motions. There's a lot broken in my life besides me. I never had a childhood. I had to take care of my sisters and be the perfect little Justiss everyone wanted me to be. Everyone depends on me..It's cool and all but it gets to the point where I disappoint if I don't live up to one's expectation of me. Straight As, no wrongs, no parties, no friends...I went through school emotional-less...I had to be 3 different people in a numerous of settings. Now here I am...alone and seeking help on a damn website because I was crying in the damn bath tub at 4 am...