I don't care about anything

I’m sorry Debbie. I’ve been there many times. I’m 52 and I’ve been having depression since I was a teen. My life has been a freaking mess but I have 3 kids that need me so I try to keep it together. It’s just hard 

Feel so alone and no one's care or listen to me.Manga thought of suscial.. Just don't care any  more..My family has nothing to do with me or my childrens.

My 4 year old told me I'm always mad and he's right not at him but I'm just always down and upset... I'm a mess and i just wanna end it because with me in the picture i think i they would be better off with my wife who is normal and not an alcoholic POS like me.

Everything suxs and I'm a mess

Have you tried getting sober in AA?. It has helped alot of people, including me. There is also a church based program, I think it's called Overcomers  Anonymous. I don't know anything about the church program. For me nothing changed in my life until I got clean and sober. It is free. I hope things work out for you.