How to separate bipolar disorder from our personality?

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twomes

05/28/2020 at 2:24 PM

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twomes

Last activity on 10/10/2023 at 10:27 AM

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19 comments posted | 15 in the Living with bipolar disorder group

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Hi everyone, I was diagnosed "bipolar" as a teen and every since I feel like I've lost all self-confidence, especially in my personal life.

With my high highs and low lows I don't think the same way or have the same needs anymore.

Whenever I'm feeling better I regain my self-confidence and need to feel independent. And when I'm in a depressive state I need to be taken care of.

I'm afraid that my thoughts are being driven by my disorder and that it has become my personality. I feel like I don't know who I am or what I want anymore 🙄.

Do any of you also feel like this?

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Megs1234

01/28/2021 at 9:52 PM

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Megs1234

Last activity on 02/20/2021 at 3:47 PM

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3 comments posted | 3 in the Living with bipolar disorder group

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Hi Twomes! Thank you for your message. I am doing a bit better than I was when I posted. I really think the missed meds had a lot to do with it. I just met with my prescriber and she is tapering me off of the sleeping bed Temazepam because of the side effects. I started TMS on the 14th, and it happens everyday during the week and it works by stimulating the prefrontal cortex which is under active in depression. I go in for 20 minutes a day, and a helmet is place on your head that have magnetic coils that deliver a 36 pulses in effort to stimulate the part of your brain responsible for mood. I just completed my 11th visit and I’m hoping that by coming off the Sleeping benzo (that I never should taken in the first place) and going to these treatments, I can reclaim my mind back! How are you doing?

How to separate bipolar disorder from our personality? https://www.carenity.us/forum/other-discussions/living-with-bipolar-disorder/how-to-separate-bipolar-disorder-from-our-pers-1979 2021-01-28 21:52:36

cameron

01/29/2021 at 4:34 AM

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cameron

Last activity on 08/17/2024 at 5:12 PM

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3 comments posted | 2 in the Living with bipolar disorder group

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Hang in there!!!!! Its gottta get better Ive been there you can get threw. your super strong!!! Its so not fair that we go through this we must fight for an answer don't give up!! love you!!!

cameron

01/29/2021 at 4:40 AM

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cameron

Last activity on 08/17/2024 at 5:12 PM

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3 comments posted | 2 in the Living with bipolar disorder group

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hey whats this about TMS and Bi Polar i was told they don't work with BiPolar patients is this true?

Megs1234

01/29/2021 at 10:54 PM

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Megs1234

Last activity on 02/20/2021 at 3:47 PM

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3 comments posted | 3 in the Living with bipolar disorder group

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Thank you so much for your messages and support!!! I really appreciate it.
No, you’re right, it isn’t fair that we have to go through this. I’ve been through plenty depressions and a few manias, but the last couple of years have been the scariest time of my life. I went into a huge mania in 2017 that lasted for a year, admittedly, it was fueled by drugs. I lost everything. My boyfriend, my car, and my sanity. Thank God my family is understanding and still believes in me or else I don’t know what I would do. These depressions, especially after a mania are debilitating and I’ve often wondered if I’ll ever regain my functionality. Thanks for responding! Love ya too!

tlester451

02/07/2021 at 4:13 AM

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tlester451

Last activity on 08/12/2024 at 7:35 PM

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9 comments posted | 4 in the Living with bipolar disorder group

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@Megs1234 You said "Admittedly it was caused by drugs". But which is the chicken and which is the egg? Does the bipolar disorder lead to drug use for some in an attempt to self medicate? I believe this is the case for me. But of course the drugs only further imbalance the mood so no long term answer there. I do find that small doses of Marijuana improve my mood and of course my chronic pain. I am trying to find a prescriber.

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Tamara Lester

Megs1234

02/08/2021 at 6:51 PM

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Megs1234

Last activity on 02/20/2021 at 3:47 PM

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3 comments posted | 3 in the Living with bipolar disorder group

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I’m really glad marijuana in small doses improves your mood and pain! That’s awesome. I haven’t been able to use it, because In this depressed mind state it tends to create more anxiety. I haven’t used any drugs or alcohol except for marijuana for over a year now. I don’t even consume caffeine! I’ve been self medicating most of my adult life and each time convince myself that I don’t need medications, and that I don’t have this illness. This last year has been the hardest year of my life. This depression has lasted over a year now, and ive been to the hospital 4-5 times. I’ve tried a ton of different meds and also tried ECT. It was effective but the results didn’t last. I’m a little more than half way through my TMS treatments, and I believe it’s getting better. Thanks for your comment, I hope you find a prescriber!!

heartroot

03/05/2021 at 12:02 AM

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heartroot

Last activity on 05/19/2025 at 11:16 PM

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30 comments posted | 7 in the Living with bipolar disorder group

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Greetings, first time here....badly need help/b support. My husband of 38 years left me: and I had a nervous breakdown.....and then was diagnosed. It. Took s year till I got proper meds.....OMG I was up for two or three nights, on WHATEVER ?.......I haven t drank in 38:years, was diagnosed with another disease Alcoholism.....not alcoholWASM!

I am trying to FIRMLY BELIEVE I’m Not my past or my diagnosis!!!

thank 4 being here.

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Catzzz

03/15/2021 at 6:28 AM

Catzzz

Last activity on 04/12/2022 at 6:53 AM

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2 comments posted | 1 in the Living with bipolar disorder group

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I’m sorry for what you are going thru heartroot !!!💜I’m in a very depressed mood trying hoping for an improved medication change . Been through so many over the last 20 years ! Hate being bipolar. At age 61 I am now praying for a terminal illness to come upon me to take me out !

SparkleMotion14

03/19/2021 at 5:32 AM

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SparkleMotion14

Last activity on 06/19/2021 at 8:08 PM

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36 comments posted | 27 in the Living with bipolar disorder group

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I feel like my manic episodes typically make me more friendly, chatty, and outgoing which is not like my normal self. My depressive episodes make me feel worthless and bothersome to others. I honestly feel like I alternate between 3 different personalities!

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SparkleMotion14 aka Elizabeth

SparkleMotion14

03/19/2021 at 5:38 AM

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SparkleMotion14

Last activity on 06/19/2021 at 8:08 PM

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36 comments posted | 27 in the Living with bipolar disorder group

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@tlester451 I do believe that drugs in general are used to self-medicate mental health issues. I know for a fact my use of drugs (especially heroin and meth) helped me even out. If I was depressed, meth was the answer. If I was manic or anxious I turned to heroin. Now that I am taking drugs specifically for my bipolar, anxiety and depression I don’t have to use illegal drugs to feel better. I think many people who suffer from either undiagnosed or unmedicated mental health issues turn to drugs to feel better. Sometimes illegal drugs are cheaper than a doctor visit or medication especially if you are not insured.

💛Elizabeth💛

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SparkleMotion14 aka Elizabeth

How to separate bipolar disorder from our personality?

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