How to get out of a cycle of depression?
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Hello, thank you for reading. I have been living with depression since my teens. I recently had a great three years. Same job, made friends that I actually did things with, and even bought my first house. I met someone and fell in love. Earlier this year we decided to move in together and I sold my house. I switched jobs so that I could be home in the mornings and he could have his young daughter overnights. In May I discovered he wasn't faithful. I took a cash advance to secure an apartment for myself and my son. I cried a lot. Called into work a few days. But I held it together. Until June. My birthday. I fell apart and started drinking. I hated my new job, so one morning I went in early and cleared out my office. I've been over eating, drinking, and just staying inside most days. This morning my 13 year old son chastised me for opening a beer at 10:41. I have a job offer that I don't want to take, but at this point I have to. But I just can't get myself out of this stay home, eat, cry, and drink phase. I take 40mg of celexa daily. I tried to email my Dr to see if perhaps now that I've been on it for 5 years my body isn't reacting to it the same, but I don't have any insurance. I can't help but think it's more situational than chemical and I just lack a support system. I've successfully pushed everyone out of my life. Today I tried to text my mother in South Dakota about my depression and she told me to just get over it. I mentioned that I felt like it would be easier to just be dead. Her response was something about me not wanting to be locked up in an institution on meds and staring at the wall. !?!? I thought maybe joining an online community would help. So...here I am.
@Theatrix86 Hey, that sounds really tough. You picked up and moved your life and your son only to have him be unfaithful. And all at the same time starting a new job. Did you doctor say anything about the meds? I haven't been on celexa but I know a lot of meds don't mix well with alcohol.
I need help myself. I completely know how you feel im alone. 56 yo. My kids are all gone as of next week. Last one leaving fir college. I am crying nonstop. I have no family or friends. Im only in this state bc i had my kids here but then divorced. I stayed (im from Detroit) in IL to raise them where they are familiar. But I never made friends. Last relationship 6 yrs. Ago. I havent worked for a few years getting unemployment. One of my sons split the rent but hes leaving. He left yesterday to live with his gf. My 18yo off to college next week. I will be alone. I cant go back to my home state bc my kids are still in this state and will visit. But I am really really not empty nesting well. I cant stop crying. Im filled with dread and fear. I feel like a total loser. Im thinking of going to get liquor but afraid it will get me really depressed. I havent slept. Im having panic attacks. I understand your turmoil! Can someone talk to me? Thanks. Sorry.
@jasmine1092 Read my sob story. You are not alone. Sending love. Maybe we can support eachother.
@Theatrix86 hey. Just learning how to use this site. You are not alone. Read my sob story. Maybe we can support eachother. Sending love.
Hey guys sorry it’s been a rough time for all I have been dealing with Tj but I do deal with on a daily struggle Been in the hospital for 9 days and just had a massive meltdown which I don’t like but there was know holding back then I felt like a looser but my face doesn’t hide it does gets better and my nurse told me to enjoy the better days So the hard days get a little easier to handle just want everyone to feel better and know your not alone
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Thank you for sharing. You are an inspiration. Truly. Sending love.
Thank you it’s hard because From my experience you can really be understanding from someone’s that been there
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Thank you for sharing. I been there hospital and all I understand. Cerl better soon hugs
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