Topic of the discussion
Posted on 3/18/20 6:45 AM
My husband is an alcoholic and he treats me amazing when he is sober. Just wish he wouldn’t treat me horribly when he drinks. It’s not every single time that he drinks but enough to make me “walk on eggshells” when he does drink. He knows exactly what to say to make me feel like the worthless person/mother I feel I am. He complained I was a stay at home Mom, I started working. Now he complains about some house work that isn’t done because I work. I try my best to appease him. I can never win in his presence but he feels that his “sorry” should suffice. If I tried to leave him, I literally have no where to go. No one to turn to and the nearest “shelter” is an hour away. I just wish there was a way for him to see the error of his ways. Like I said, he can be amazing when he is sober.
Beginning of the discussion - 3/19/20My partner is an alcoholic, what can I do? https://www.carenity.us/forum/depression/living-with-depression/my-partner-is-an-alcoholic-what-can-i-do-1659
Posted on 3/19/20 3:13 AM
Hello from Arkansas. As a recovering addict and bipolar person I was the husband that never abused but manipulation was a key to control the marriage. Would take a long while to tell that story. Seek help through Alanon and get a sponsor you connect with. Talk to people about your struggles. We all have a strong ability to share things that are hidden by shame and guilt and lots of bad brain based problems. Stay here in this group. If you would please visit pmhpllc.org we are in need of advocates world wide to address co existing addictions and brain health. Happy PMH. Your DOB is 1 day from my DOB.
Posted on 8/23/20 10:53 AM
He doesn’t believe in counseling and anything similar. He believes it is a waste of money and so he won’t go though with seeking help.
Posted on 8/24/20 3:09 AM
Hi Cdave22, I'm new to this site and am here for support like everyone else,..being in a relationship where an alcoholic doesn't see they have a problem and won't seek help but the loved ones who get dumped on while they are under the influence is not an ideal situation to be in. Alcoholism is a disease and it runs in my family, I have seen it all with my father and ended up being with someone just like him. I finally got the guts to say NO MORE...but it definitely wasn't easy. My heart goes out to you and he won't see a problem if he keeps getting by with treating you that way. Just because he doesn't believe in counseling or getting help doesn't mean you don't have to. Start with you! Speaking to a counselor does help, they aren't magic and we do have to do the leg work but it's a place to put your words, anger, sadness, whatever the feeling may be. I come here sometimes too so I don't feel all alone through my depression and anxiety journey. Don't give up on getting yourself at place of peace, you deserve it!
Posted on 8/24/20 10:10 AM
Lived that. But mine was mean all the time unless he wanted something.
Wish there was an easy answer besides get out. You need to think of what you want. When I left I felt like a boulder was lifted off me.
Its not easy but easier when you are in control. Courage.
Will pray for you.
Posted on 8/27/20 9:46 PM
I am in the same situation as Cdav22. When my mom had enough I would be the care taker of my dad. Now i am with a man just like him. It sounds sick, I dont like it but I am very comfortable with taking care of an alcoholic, it is very hard to put my needs and health first. I keep thinking one day he will stop drinking.....he is so nice when he is sober.....