Topic of the discussion
Posted on 7/27/18 5:35 AM
hey everyone. This is my first time sharing and I struggle opening up so bare with me. I have been a dating a man for 6 years now. It has been nice but there are some valid concerns that I have and my parents are worried as well. One big problem right now is for 5 years he has not spent time with my family and view and them as the enemy . I have to push him to visit theM and work things out but he won’t and once in awhile he will visit at public events. I am thinking of leaving him because I do appreciate how he treats them. I have many more reasons as concerns with this relationship, but won’t let me leave especially since he just bought a house for us. What do I do.
Beginning of the discussion - 7/27/18Looking for advice on my relationship - my boyfriend thinks of family as the enemy https://www.carenity.us/forum/depression/living-with-depression/looking-for-advice-on-my-relationship-my-boyfriend-thinks-of-family-as-the-enemy-314
Posted on 7/27/18 1:37 PM
@Tiffany That is quite the decision your facing. I don't know you well, being new here and all, so apologies if I seem presumptuous in giving my advice. Only thing I am worried about is that by staying with him you may become isolated from your family over time. Family is such an important support system and much needed as we struggle with ever day life. If he is not willing to get along with your family and be a part of that support system then I fear you may face even tougher trials as time goes on between the two. It already seems that you have had to face a few already. If he is not willing to get along with your family for you then something isn't right. While some people just can't get along for some weird reason, if you loved someone you would make the effort to at least be cordial and tolerable around them and hopefully overtime things even out for the better.
I'll just say do what is best for you. What will make you happy in the long run. For my money, I will always side with family as it is important to me. And if its the same for you and he can't see that and make the effort to get along with them, then maybe it's time to re-examine that relationship. I wish you luck and clarity as you face this dilemma
Posted on 7/29/18 6:46 AM
@Pinny76 Thank you for you help. I came up with an idea. I have threatened to leave three times him if he didn’t work things out with my family and ended up staying at my family’s home for 7hrs and will attend Vermont with my family. This was the only way I knew that could work because I know he loves me and would never leave me but I know he won’t ask me to marry him soon like he was going too. But I know we will work things out. Sadly the man I love has been through a lot and doesn’t realize how important or loving a family can be. But now he seems to see it so I hope things work out for the best. Thank you for your support .
Posted on 7/29/18 6:48 AM
I ment after I threatened to leave him, he went to my house and stayed there for 7hrs and willingly Deicided to go to Vermont With me and my Family
Posted on 7/30/18 9:25 PM
@Tiffany I am happy your plan worked and that he is making the effort with your family. Sad that he doesn't understand the importance of family but hopefully that will change as he spends time with yours. Hope this is a sign of better things to come and continues on a positive direction. I'll be rooting for you guys