Topic of the discussion
Posted on 1/21/20 2:57 AM
So ive been living with depression for a while. My depression did not come alone, it came with many other friends. Living with all of these together isnt fun. ever, ADHD, and anxiety, those are 2 some of them. I have panic attacks all the time, and they can be for no reason at all. one second im fine and the next i cant breath. Once something happens to upset me, i put on a face and i pretend everything is okay, after a while i just explode with anger and emotion. Then i end up almost doing something to hurt myself every, single, time. none of this is fun. i always feel like im alone. im the only one in my family (the ones im living with) who has these conditions) no one knows how to deal with them, and they think i will play the victim when im just trying to express whats going on, and how i feel. When all of these started coming out and showing themselves, my mother would say it was like walking on egg shells, when i would get upset and flip out. I tried to tell her i was the same for me, since i didnt know what would cause a panic attack etc. and yea thats part of what i go through on a daily.
Beginning of the discussion - 1/21/20I dont know anymore https://www.carenity.us/forum/depression/living-with-depression/i-dont-know-anymore-1489
Posted on 1/21/20 3:27 AM
I'm afraid to talk about it. People and family make me feel like I'm making everything up.
Posted on 1/21/20 8:27 AM
I know how you feel. When I try to express my feeling my boyfriend looks at me with judgement and tells me he does not say anything because I will just explode when all I want to be heard , understood, and genuinely cared for... My family and friends are not really there.. physically yes.. but I don't feel connected and it just makes it worse.. I have been having panic attacks and I been trying to keep a face. Everywhere I go I am this happy person but deep down no one knows the pain I have inside that I am suppressing... I called a hotline and my insurance to find a therapist but I cannot confide in them because if I say the wrong thing they may put me away and I am just tired of living like this.. I want change but no matter what I do its not working
everyone around me is fake and I can trust anyone... we understand eachother and I want us to be there for one another... because only we truly know the pain we hold inside ...
Posted on 1/21/20 8:29 AM
Your not... don't be afraid.. lets be here for one another...
I am afraid to talk about it too... I tried before but no one really cares or understand...
Your feelings are real and should be validated...
You deserve love and care .. I want to be here for you... I am suffering right now and I can't trust anyone is my life...
Posted on 1/22/20 2:37 AM
@luongholly93 at least now we can all be here for each other, and express whats going on. we get what it feels like with some of our things, so now we can help and support each other.