Feeling lost and worthless after a horrible breakup
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I had been with my ex boyfriend for almost a year and boy we had a bumpy ride the first few months of our relationship but after I spoke to him and told him how I felt about the way he was acting, to my surprise he actually changed...He became the guy I knew he’d be...genuine...sweet...he was always there for me, and every time we were together it’s like time stopped and it was just us in the world...Everything was perfect. So eventually he enlisted into the Air Force and left in November...I wrote him often and thought about him even more often...He writes back and tells me he misses me and that second I felt all was good. Eventually boot camp ended and me being insecure I thought he’d leave me but he didn’t...he picked up our FaceTime sessions and all like it never stopped. He would’ve been my first Valentine...and he knew it...he bought me a gift I MADE him a special gift...That Thursday before V-day All was fine he texted me “good morning baby” and all. My package for him was expected to deliver that day so I was excited for him to get it...Then suddenly that same day out of the blue he just broke up with me and was so heartless and careless about it...I BAWLED I begged and I pleaded. I told him that he was my only blockage of my depression and insecurities because he made me feel so good. Instead of having a heart he blocked me on everything as if I did something when I KNOW I didn’t... now my depression is back even worse now and my insecurities are 10x what they already were...I just don’t understand...I gave my all for him...When I came out to my mother in the past I swore to never get too serious with a guy because it wasn’t what I wanted at the time but I swear I would’ve married that guy if he would’ve asked...and that says A LOT...I’m so hurt and feel so lost and worthless...half the time I wish I didn’t exist...
@MBrown98 That's so awful he did that to you without an explanation, especially when everything had been going well! No one deserves to be treated like that. You sound like an extremely kind and generous person, please don't let what happened make you feel bad about yourself and make you feel like you're not worthy of love or a good relationship! What happened is on him and isn't reflective of you as a person!
@MBrown98 That was insensitive of him to just cut things off without any sort of explanation. I have been head over heels for someone and that feeling was not reciprocated....I was crushed. I had a problem of not wanting to be alone so I did way too much for people that just did the bare minimum. You are worthy! You are worthy of all the love you desire and you have to know along your journey you may come across some pretenders. Keep your head up and know that you are meant to be exactly where you are! Don't hesitate to reach out if you want to chat. Sending you love and peace.
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