Do You Feel Like It's People in Your Life?
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Honestly, I just feel like I don't really have anyone. People seem to come and go so easily. Then, the very few people in my life don't seem to treat me very well at different times. They act like they care about me a lot, but then they generally disregard me in certain ways. It becomes obvious how little they factor in my depression and my bad physical health. Then, when they hurt me, they don't really see how or seem to really care but then act like they care if I suicide. If they can't even consider my feelings in different situations, then they don't get a say in suicide. If they really wanted me alive, they would treat me better. I just feel like the people in my life are toxic and just ultimately make me feel worse than I already do. Does anyone else feel like that? I've heard people say that, "People only care when you are dead." From what I've seen and experienced, it seems to be true.
How are you doing this morning? Sometimes I felt the same way when I went through a major illness and I felt like most of my friends left my side. But, I realized a lot of them just didn't know how to react and they were scared of saying the wrong thing. I actually told my best friend to not worry about saying something stupid, just be there, that's all I needed. You need to tell people clearly what you need from them, otherwise they get scared. I hope this helps.
Sweetluvgurl, I understand more than I can say. I totally get it. I feel the same way. People are so fickle. It's not you, believe me. The fact that you can recognize when people are toxic is huge. Mny people can't see it or don't want to see it. You sound very intuitive. That will carry u through.
Growing up i was told “Be assertive Katie. You are the only one who has control over you” I really hate that damn saying. What a joke. Be assertive I can do. I can tell people until I’m blue in the face how I feel or how hurt I am over their actions or leave/avoid situations that will throw me into an anxiety attack or depressed funk. I can take every precaution to keep myself on a level playing field but people are the unknown variable that I can’t avoid. I feel the people around me are my #1 trigger. I can’t blame them necessarily it’s not their brain miss firing but I can hold them accountable for their uncaring inconsideration. My partner for instance we have been together for 9 years. You think by now she would get it. But instead I feel like she just doesn’t care that her actions have hurt me in such away that I don’t want to live anymore.. I just don’t. And I can’t put my happiness on her or anyone but when you say and do things you KNOW will hurt me i just don’t want to fight for this life anymore. The one person who is supposed to have your back just keeps stabbing you in it. And then they think their opinion means something when it comes to wether I live or don’t. It’s like you help put me in this hole. But yeah your opinion matters.
I completely understand how you feel. This shit sucks but I’m here if you need to talk/ vent.
Why is is that someone (mother) talk to you for 2 minutes and make you feel like you are absolutely worthless? I do what I can to make he happy, walk on eggshells, all that stuff. It still happens....
I dont think the ones out their that haven't been through any type of depression or anxiety understand what any of us feel like inside.
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@sweetluvgurl Yes, I feel the same way. IDK about friends because I don’t share very much with them, but with family. They will be absent from your life, refuse to spend time with you, then when you hit rock bottom they have criticism for how you handle your pain. Then only thing I can think to do is walk away. If anyone is going to support me, it’s going to have to be just me.
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