Topic of the discussion
Posted on 10/9/18 3:26 AM
My boyfriend of almost three years suffers from severe depression and i have a long history of generalized anxiety disorder. We are so in love and have the best time together and want nothing more than to be together forever but sometimes our conditions get in our way. When he gets upset or is having a bad day, he retreats. He needs time to.recharge and think. Now I am the opposite, when I am.having a bad day or am upset about something, I dont stop. I just want to talk about it. We are struggling to find a common ground. We both had really rough marriages, suffefed a lot of pain, went through horrible divorces and have exes that continually try to.beat us.down. I.love this.man so.much,.more than i ever thought.possible and I dont want to.lose him I.really need to.figure out how to.control.my.anxiety and give him space sometimes.
Beginning of the discussion - 10/9/18Boyfriend with depression and me with anxiety https://www.carenity.us/forum/depression/living-with-depression/boyfriend-with-depression-and-me-with-anxiety-513
Posted on 10/9/18 4:54 AM
Hi @Barb1026 thank you for sharing your story. It can be hard, when in love, to understand that the other has different ways of dealing with certain life and social situation. Even without having diagnosis of depression or anxiety, couples do struggle with similar situations that you find yourself in. For example, when I am feeling anxious, I am much like you and need to talk to my wife; however, she is more reserved, like your boyfriend.
I would recommend possibly talking to each other and expressing how you feel and let him know that you want to be there for him and that you understand his way of dealing with such situations differs from yours and that when he wants to talk you will be there to listen, and vice versa.
Perhaps, couple counseling may be an option to in order to deal with the rough history you have gone through in the past with your exes. Some members on the forums have found this to be very positive...
Posted on 10/9/18 4:56 AM
@Barb1026 Have you spoken to him about this?
I understand giving someone space when they need it can seem easier said then done.
Posted on 10/12/18 6:11 AM
@Barb1026 I am sorry to read this. I hope things get better. I think the best option is being upfront and open and trying to compromise. sounds like you love hi dearly and just want the best!
Posted on 10/17/18 11:36 AM
I would like more insight of how to deal with someone with schizophrenia, bi-polar, depression, and anxiety. I, myself and stuffing from severe depression, severe anxiety, and bi-polar. I knew that I was suffering, I still continue to suffer... I just didn't know what I was suffering with. Anyways, I have done research and schizophrenia, but I would like to talk to someone who has it, and who is handling someone with schizophrenia. I want to help my fiance. I know I can help him a lot more then what I have been doing.
Posted on 10/19/18 4:57 AM
@Myloves18 I don't have schizophrenia, but deal with depression and anxiety. Do you and your fiance suffer with schizophrenia, bi-polar, depression, and anxiety?
Are you wanting advice on how to explain it to your fiance for him to better help you? or you help your fiance?
Posted on 10/19/18 5:26 AM
@naptnm my fiance is the one with schizophrenia, bi-polar, anxiety and depression. I suffer from all those but schizophrenia (as far as I know). I'm looking for advice on both situations. I know having schizophrenia is a major thing. I'm doing my best to help him, but I feel like I can do better. I continuesly push what I am going through aside for him and our babies. I have them break down days. That's for sure. He understands but doesn't understand and vice versa.
Posted on 10/22/18 4:46 AM
@Myloves18 I responded to your other post
Posted on 3/24/19 10:59 PM
My relationship has officially ended. My boyfriend with depression says that my anxiety ruined our relationship. I know I did things wrong and I was always anxious about who he was messaging on facebook and stuff. I got upset because when we were away for the weekend he was on facebook liking pictures of a girl he had an emotional relationship with before he met me. I really tried to make him happy but it was never enough. He broke up with me every time things didn't go his way but I knew he always pushed people away so I tried to stay cause I loved him so much. He told me I make him feel alone because I check my phone a lot but I do have a big family, three kids and friends. I am just so heartbroken right now. Depression and anxiety dont really mix I have learned.
Posted on 3/30/19 1:45 AM
@Barb1026 if your boyfriend is messaging other girls in facebook or liking a girls picture, especially one who he used to have a romantic relationship with, I think that would cause any woman some anxiety and anger... Those actions are not respectful if he loves you. Do not feel bad about being anxious about things like that. I think that is normal.