How can I be the best support for my loved one with cancer?

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Shellbell5724

05/18/2020 at 7:40 AM

Hi everyone. My name is Michele. Once again I am up in the middle of the night. It's the only time I can show my emotions without him seeing. He has been the rock in my life. The absolute hardest working, honest, selfless most giving person I have ever known. A giver to a fault. We got the initial diagnosis Thursday morning. He had the endoscopy on Wednesday. I was praying it was an ulcer. GERD. Anything but esophageal cancer. And now further testing will be done to get a more accurate picture of what we are facing and which road to take. I will call the cancer center in the morning and I will keep calling. We need to get him in there. We need to know. This waiting limbo sucks. He has lost so much weight. I feel guilty eating in front of him. It is painful to watch him eat. I go crazy trying to prepare things that are easy for him to swallow. He was a meat and bread picky eater. Now I'm making smoothies and sneaking in yogurt. He hates yogurt. I want him to preserve his energy for what is ahead. But he can't be idle. I think the not knowing is making him crazy. Me too. So as much as I wanted him to relax today he built new vegetable garden boxes for me. He power washed some of the deck. I really don't want him to exert his calories but I know his mental well being is a huge part of this. And mine too. I guess that's a lot of the reason why I am here. I know I need to stay healthy for him to get him through this. This sucks. This pandemic. My son is a High School Senior and I am also worried about his mental well being. And then this. I wake up in the morning and it all hits me like a ton of bricks. So, thanks for the vent. Thanks for this community. I guess I'm looking for support for how I can be the best possible person for him and also not curl up into a ball myself. Love to all. I wish you all the best ❤️

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Cooqie33

08/03/2021 at 2:19 AM

Wow I just realized how late I am with commenting. It showed up in "discussions" and I read your story. It compelled me to reply without checking the date. I hope all is well.

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John

How can I be the best support for my loved one with cancer? https://www.carenity.us/forum/cancer/living-with-cancer/caring-for-a-loved-one-1919 2021-08-03 02:19:49

picadilly373

10/26/2021 at 2:52 AM

Sorry for all your problems. My husband has had cancer several times. He is missing 1 testical(30 yrs ago) the kidney cancer involving the adrenal gland,( 2017) then 2nd kidney removed (2020) and just had his second adrenal gland removed(2021). He’s on home HEMO dialysis 4 times a week. It has been a lot. We stay positive, do everything we’ve planned. Bought a 45’ motorhome and we travel. Just take everything with us. I have researched everything to death. I usually tell Dr’s how thing are and will be and just get their OK. Be educated. Live as normal as possible and cherish every day of life. To top all off, I just got diagnosed with Breast Cancer. So told Dr’s rush things as We’d going to FL. Having surgery Friday, 2 weeks after diagnosis, then we’ll stay home about a week to recover,and we are heading to FL! I’ll do radiation in the sunshine. Good luck.

How can I be the best support for my loved one with cancer? https://www.carenity.us/forum/cancer/living-with-cancer/caring-for-a-loved-one-1919 2021-10-26 02:52:16

Therrion5

Edited on 12/09/2021 at 9:12 AM

Hello everyone, I was hoping to have someone shed some insight or advice on somethings that I’ve recently experienced while helping to care for my mother who currently has cancer. I’d just recently noticed that I am not fully supported by my spouse, which has come as a complete surprise to me. While he claim to LOVE my mom, he has not been showing any support. I am in total and complete shock and do not know how to deal with this. Just yesterday we got into a huge argument which led to him calling me out of my name. Today, I just feel like I don’t want any support from him at all and wishes to separate from him. Today was even worst, as he’s walking around with an attitude, throwing and slamming things and talking aggressively. I know that I am not overreacting or acting out of grief because I’ve gone completely silent and he’s still keeping up this behavior. Has anyone here every experienced this. Please feel free to chime in. I’m heartbroken to say the least.

How can I be the best support for my loved one with cancer? https://www.carenity.us/forum/cancer/living-with-cancer/caring-for-a-loved-one-1919 2021-12-09 06:47:55