Let's talk about bipolar disorder

I've been diagnosed with bipolar for over 30 years.  The only reason that I've kept my family and my professional career going is because I found out what medication worked for me and I stayed on it. I'm retired now and feel better than ever but still stay on my medication. I hope that you find something that works  for you 🙂🙏

I also want to say to visit a therapist as often as possible.  I see mine weekly.  I visit my psychiatrist every 2 to 3 months and we adjust my meds as needed. Last time we reduced my dose of Lamictal because I wasn't feeling enough emotion.

I was diagnosed with major depression, anxiety, and adhd when I was probably around 13. It wasn't until I was 25 when my mom got diagnosed with leukemia. My episodes got out of control but I didn't understand what was happening. It's like I would black out. At the end of October 2019, I was in a car accident that was my fault, simply becuz I was having a panic attack becuz my gps wasn't working and I just didn't see the other car and I got t-boned, my door. I didn't break anything which is pretty miraculous in my opinion. But I did have large contusions on my hip bones, ribs, elbows, and thighs. I also hit my head pretty hard but I didn't notice that pain until the next day, also had whiplash. I then got stuck with an owi even though I was actually sober during the time of the accident, I just was having an episode. But of course law enforcement doesn't give a flying fuck about that, they'd rather just make life harder by forcing you to pay over $2,000 that you don't have because you aren't working, cuz mom has cancer and moved in with you so you could help take care of her. The accident did force me to get health insurance tho, which then lead to me getting diagnosed with bipolar disorder that is still unspecified. I've been battling so hard becuz my mom actually ended up passing away last July, hands down the most horrific thing I'd ever witnessed in my life. Then I binged on psychedelics for two weeks straight simply becuz I needed to stop the tears somehow for a little bit becuz I had cried literally all day everyday for a month straight while I watched my mom die. But obviously I knew that wasn't a good idea, but at least I was then depressed over something I was in control of. Now, I am still dealing with grief but I feel much stronger, and my psyc added a low dose of escatalipram on top of my mood stabilizer and vyvanse and lorazepam. I've been getting my creativity back and have been painting a lot. I am also a vocalist and I can finally not get to the point where I just stop singing and listening to music. Still a struggle but I'm learning and healing.

@Courtney_J  hi my name is Lauren. I'm 30 and I was diagnosed at 20. I knew in my teens I had bad mood swings that hindered a lot of things I did. Depression was bad as well as a teen. I also had dealt with terrible insomnia that I went days without sleep and wouldn't sleep during the day to make it up. No matter what I tried nothing helped I just couldn't sleep. When I was diagnosed it all made sense. I was also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and generalized anxiety disorder I had been previously been diagnosed with ptsd in my early teens due to childhood trauma. I was recently diagnosed with schizoeffective disorder as well which I still do not fully understand. I have been on literally every medication. Every mood stabilizer and antidepressant and antipsychotic. I've been on every anti anxiety medication they make at the highest doses and at three and four times a day.  At one point I was on 7 medications. 3 were mood stabilizers (Lamictal 600mg lithium 900mg Trileptal(do not remember dose)) I was taking these meds three times a day. I was also on latuda 120mg and seroquil 100mg envega 6mg abilify 5mg and then on kilonipin 2mg and that was 3x day. None of it helped I was still so unstable and to date we have yet to find any medications and combinations that work. I also have other medical conditions that are physical that I take medication for as well. I have degenerative disc disease (I have two herniated disc) and migraines and a torn mcl. I have fibromyalgia but I was told that is from basically always being in fight or flight mode and in a panic. I'm always tense and never fully calm and resting. So I do take percocet 10-325 and baclofen 20mg (muscle relaxer) for the pain. I have been on migraine medication before preventative and emergent and none have helped. But currently due to the pain meds and muscle relaxers and bipolar meds My neurologist will not prescribe me any medication because I am already considered "high risk" for over dose with all my other medications. Thankfully I will say the muscle relaxers and pain meds help keep the migraines down a lot. 

I am not sure what to do at this point. I'm in outpatient therapy which doesn't seem to be helping much and have absolutely no support system whatsoever. My family doesn't understand or care too. My husband doesn't believe in mental disorders or taking medication for anything even my pain meds for my physical issues that he has seen Dr documentation of. So it is always a huge fight when I take my meds or have a manic or depressive episode. I have my two children who I adore and they are what keeps me going at least to the point I am. But they need me I am not always at a place that I'm ok because I can't find any medication combination to stable me out. I feel broken and emotionally just done and exhausted. It's like I have nothing left in me to keep fighting anymore even though I know I have too for my children. I am lost and my husband will yell and scream and call me names and tear me down make me feel worthless has called me worthless... and emotionally abuses me and he is a narcissist and so i deal with a lot of gaslighting and narcissistic abuse. I would leave if I could pay my bills. I only make 10.50hr and the car I drive is his. It's so hard to get disability in nc where I am. So I'm just stuck and broken and lost and I feel powerless and hopeless.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was in eighth grade. I suffered horrible anxiety ever since I was a kid in grade school which eventually lead to depression. I found that medication does help when you find the right combination of meds to be on. I think one of the meds I’ve been on the longest and still am on is lamictal and lithium. I take meds for anxiety and depression too. As of today I’m doing alright. I’m lucky I’ve been stable for the past couple years. I do have my bad days and quick mood swings but overall it’s ok. I’m curious how others are after being diagnosed and things that have worked for them to get through this illness.

I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was eighteen.  I was on a series of different meds since I was five.  I had several hospitalizations before I was accurately diagnosed.  First it was multiple personality disorder.  Now that was weird 

I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was in my 30s but had symptoms when I was younger.  I've tried a lot of different medications that didn't work until the combination they put me on that I take now.  I'm on Lamictal 400mg geodon 240mg Topamax 400mg Buspar 60mg and a clim something that's for nightmares 100mg everyday.  When I get really angry I black out which scares me because I don't know what I'm doing until I come to and then I see what happened.  I ended up in jail one time because of it. I see a therapist every two weeks and a psychiatrist every 3 months.  I don't work due to my moods always changing and my severe social anxiety.  I don't sleep good at night anymore and I don't take naps during the day. My psychiatrist prescribed trazadone for sleep as needed but I haven't I haven't gotten them yet due to the VA hasn't shipped them out yet. I have real bad short term memory I can't remember what I did yesterday.  

@Ceg314 hang in there things will get better. My husband does me the same always tearing me down.

I took Lithium (and occasionally antidepressants and antipsychotics) from around age 18 - 61.  During a hospital stay for a broken hand, I was vomiting blood so they took me off the Lithium.  According to my psychiatrist, Lithium is intended as a short-term med and it was irritating my stomach badly.  I now take Zyprexa (an antipsychotic) and Welbutrin (an antidepressant,) and my moods are much more stable and "in normal range."  No, medication isn't the only answer, but combined with "talk therapy" I have avoided hospital for years, whereas I used to go to mental wards frequently.  I still have some psychiatric issues, but I am mostly happy and "well-adjusted."

@jvsbrighton I wish I could find a therapist that would work for me and get back into it. I feel my life is more a mess now than ever before.