"Pull yourself together!": Have you been told this? How to react?

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gottgetbtr

02/23/2022 at 4:56 PM

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gottgetbtr

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How do you deal with people who tell you to "pull yourself together"? I always get hurt and frustrated. I can't seem to explain well enough to people around me, that depression is a disease - I can't just snap out of it.. I just become more sad when people push me like that. But I don't know what to say to them. I always just shut up. I need to learn to stand up for myself, but it is hard when I am already struggling.

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Courtney_J

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02/23/2022 at 5:22 PM

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Courtney_J

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Hi @gottgetbtr, thank you for opening this discussion and sharing what you've been going through. It can be really hard when people aren't willing to listen or understand what mental illness is really like. Let me tag some other members who can possibly share with you.

Hi everyone, how are you today?

Have you ever been told to "pull yourself together" or something similar talking about your mental health? How do you react to people who don't understand or are intolerant of your mental illness?

@Debster @Sadgirl84 @Meera26 @Denisef8 @FLUSH04 @Kingcatfisher @chyrlwhite @Andagain @DäveStëin @babygirl6640 @ColinG @rileytabatha @Dixiemom23 @Gumbypokey @XGraceX @Hunter09! @Michele3

Take care,

Courtney

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Courtney_J, Community Manager, Carenity US

"Pull yourself together!": Have you been told this? How to react? https://www.carenity.us/forum/other-discussions/living-with-behavioural-disorders-mental-illne/dealing-with-peoples-reactions-4227 2022-02-23 17:22:43

Kingcatfisher

02/23/2022 at 7:11 PM

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Yes I have been told to pull myself together, to grow up, to stop looking for pity, which I'm not. Growing up I was always told there's something wrong with me, that I don't use the brain God gave me, that I don't think about things. Alot of the time inside I feel like I'm turning to ash, that if I can't support myself I'm better off dead

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02/24/2022 at 12:54 AM

@gottgetbtr I hate when someone says that to me! Or that you have to push yourself. I’m pushing as hard as I can! I tell them straight up, people with depression can’t just “snap out of it.” I wish I could. Like do they think that we WANT to feel sad and down all the time? I wouldn’t wish this disease on anyone!

Ownthegoddess

02/24/2022 at 6:56 AM

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I hate it when someone says push yourself , pull yourself together this disease is horrible don't wish it on noone

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Angela Spiese

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02/25/2022 at 1:27 AM

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Pull yourself together, may have been acceptable in years past. Now, if I were suggested I do it, I'd get angry. Sadly that is my most comfortable emotion. I must change it, for health reasons. Heart, peace of mind, keeping my housing, etc. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps is equally offensive.

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Peggy Erickson

Emily.lisena

02/25/2022 at 6:53 PM

Emily.lisena

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you just have to ignore them. they are ignorant and clearly have no idea what you are going through

chais20a

02/26/2022 at 11:48 PM

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Yes, I have. Many people do not understand depression is real and a phase. To say to snap out of it does not the person going through depression.

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Charles D. Aissen

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03/03/2022 at 5:30 PM

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I've been told that many times for many years. I'm used to it now. It's something I've gotten used to having bipolar since around age 18. I have a habit of going off the deep end. It takes a lot for me to calm down. I have to take valium at times like this. Every one in my household gets mad at me, but I can't help it. I try my hardest to stay calm. It's just so very hard at times.

Morckster

03/23/2022 at 2:37 AM

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I have heard this and everyone has anxiety, depression, stress. All the assumptions that what one person goes through is the same as the other. So degrading. I know that it is ignorant, but so hard when you need for someone to understand and to listen. I go from extremes of talking to much to just not talking at all out of the guilt of what others will think. So hard to find the balance and not fall into the "stigma"

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mickey

03/29/2022 at 9:18 AM

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Hello, Please know you are not alone in that experience!!! I hope you learn to have more strength as I did. I was so crazy with pain one day--I made this person upset--I answered back!! I never had an issue after I spoke up for myself. I have SLE, Lupus Disease which every doctor I know calls "The Great Imitator" I hope and pray you become strong and secure with yourself. I think, that you will be able to walk away or speak up for yourself. One day, I was feeling so weak from the pain--I went off on a person. I was parked in the handicapped and it was over 100 degrees outside. The person was standing in front of my car--yelling at me for parking in the handicapped space. My mother was with me and we looked at each other. I finally said I have Lupus Disease and if you do not know what Lupus is Look It UP!!! I drove away and went to bed when I got home. I was worn out from yelling. My mother was upset "she said, "why do you make people aggravate you"? That was the day, I started to speak up for myself. Yes, I look good on the outside but they will never know how I suffer inside!!! We learn by our mistakes and by our experiences!! Be Strong, Be Confident, and Love Yourself because no one will be respecting you if you do not care. I think we all have our issues. Lupus, Ms, it does not matter we have challenges that most people will never understand unless they walk in our shoes. Please know, you are close to my heart. My time on this earth is limited and it is unfortunate I have also to deal with people who doubt me. I am sick, and I am not going to waste my precious energy and time on these ignorant people. Keep yourself in tune with others' experiences in this crazy world we live in. Keep me in your prayers for I have my challenges also!!

Many Blessings Love mickey

mickeyitaly3@aol.com

"Pull yourself together!": Have you been told this? How to react?

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