Posted on 7/2/21 4:12 PM
I guess it is just easier to pretend to be happy than to admitted that i actually need. Anytime in the past that i have opened up to anyone they always tried to one up me and make their problems seem worst than mine so after a while i just quite opening up to people and started to pretend i was happy.
Posted on 7/3/21 6:41 AM
In my family you weren't allowed to talk about mental health issues. My mom's brother committed suicide and everyone had a theory - he was spoiled from childhood, he drank, he didn't want to be a responsible adult, he was crazy and on and on. Years later I said in front of my mom that I suffered from depression and she said, 'don't say that, people will think you're crazy." Out of 5 kids, I am the sanest. I never ask for help in anything in my life because I grew up being told by my mom that I was not a baby, and she had 4 other kids that were more important. It took me a year after she died, to realize that I do need help, that I am not a baby, and that I don't want the chaos in my life anymore that I was raised with. It has been 4years now and I have become stronger but I still need help. I think that mental health is seen as a bad thing, and not an illness. It has a stigma attached to it and right away people think of the mental institutions of years ago. I don't talk about my feelings with my family because my mom told my siblings that I was crazy. I am not crazy, but a human being who makes mistakes and learns lessons from them. But I don't care what others say about me because I know who I am and have a great group of people who are there for me in good times and bad.
Posted on 7/4/21 10:44 PM
I'm always trying to put on a happy face and not let on i'm hurting. Then once I get back home I become a recluse all over again. I make up reasons to not go visit friends. I don't think anyone else wants to be bothered because they have all their own issues. I dont know how to get myself out of this mind set.
I hope maybe by joining this group I can find others who are struggling as I am and we can help each other.
Thanks for listening...