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Patients Ulcerative colitis

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Member Carenity
Posted on

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this group, but I was diagnosed with UC about 4 years ago. I am still working with my doctor (I just switched to a new GI specialist because I moved) to find a medication that actually manages my symptoms. I go on prednisone at least 3-5 times a year, so most likely I will start on Humera or something like it. 

Anyways, I really wanted to ask about how other people have dealt with UC symptoms within their romantic relationships. I'm 23, so the stigmas around having GI issues can be embarasing, even though I try so hard not to let it get to me. I'm dating a lot, but whenever I start to get close to anyone, it is super difficult for me to share about my UC. Especially when I have to leave a date early because of a flare up. I thought about waiting to date more seriously until I have this thing figured out, but I have realized I'll be living my whole life with it and it's not practical to wait to live my life because I struggle with a chronic condition. 

I guess I'm just hoping to hear what other people have done to help get over the fear of sharing this part of your life with someone else and how it worked/didn't. 

Thanks <3

Beginning of the discussion - 1/25/19

How do you deal with UC and romance and relationships
Member Carenity
Posted on

Hi everyone, 

I am new in this group. I was diagnosed UC for 3 years. I was almost OK  for the first 2 years. But recently it flare up so I went back to prenison. I'd like to your experience and opinions on the medication. Thanks.

Sunflower     

How do you deal with UC and romance and relationships
1

Member Carenity
Posted on

@Hidden username welcome to the forums and awesome question. As someone with UC for some few years (and older than you), I will try to ease your worries some... hopefully.

Do not think of your condition being a barrier to dating. Think of it as your own trait, and we all have traits: some people are chatty, some people are rude, some people have to use the restroom more often, some people may have bowel issues, some people may experience pain... etc. And your traits is what makes you, you! You want someone to love you for you! UC is not you... so don't let it be you... all the time!

As far as telling dates, I would say there is nothing wrong with telling them on the first date or a later date. We do that with all relationships... we do not tell everyone on the first date our favorite thing to do is lay in bed eating ice-cream watching friends all day, etc.

Happy to listen to you! 

How do you deal with UC and romance and relationships
3

Member Carenity
Posted on

Thank you so much for replying! This is amazing advice. I really appreciate it. I’m going to try to implement this idea of my UC not being me, but being a trait of me, into my life. 

Thank you! 

How do you deal with UC and romance and relationships
Member Carenity
Posted on

Hey @Hidden username‍ what are your thoughts on a male having this condition? I have this condition and have not been in a romantic relationship for some years, but it is a fear I have also.

I have not been in that situation, so just looking to see what your viewpoint is as a lady. I think maybe we hurt ourselves more worrying about.

How do you deal with UC and romance and relationships
Member Carenity
Posted on

Hi @Hidden username‍ :) I’ve learned a lot since I posted this question and I guess my best advice is to just embrace the condition and realize that the right person will understand and also embrace our condition. The best thing to do is just be honest with the people you let into your life when you’re ready. I feel like this is crappy (no pun intended) advice but it’s all I’ve got at the moment. 

I agree with you that worrying just makes it harder on ourselves. 

How do you deal with UC and romance and relationships
Member Carenity
Posted on

I was diagnosed with UC Fours years ago as well. As far as telling someone about your chronic condition, it’s really up to you when you want to tell someone about UC. There’s nothing wrong with telling someone about your condition, it can be whenever your comfortable to tell