I fell in love with a paranoid schizophrenic

since November 6 2017 I have been in the most loving beautiful relationship with a man who I’ve known 11 years prior. I knew his issues and have done so much to try and understand him and his issue. Nothing I do is enough. I’m constantly accused  of things that just aren’t true and can’t get defensive or makes it worse. Now he took it too far when I tried to discuss things with him and explain his behavior wether he means it or not is abusive and controlling. He flipped out and yelled and threw me out of his apartment like a piece of garbage. I am walking away because he told me good bye. I think it’s best and I know it is, my heart and soul is crushed. I have never truly loved and devoted myself to anyone like I did him in my 41 years and I feel like I can’t breathe cause it hurts so badly. 

@Hidden username‍ I am sorry to hear that. That means a lot in itself about you that you were there and loved him through his condition and that you were understanding of it. 

I think, from your reading your post, that you meant that the relationship was abusive and controlling. Take care of yourself first and foremost. No person should be abused or controlled. I know it is easier said, but please take care of yourself first and foremost. You are important and worth a lot. 

Please keep us updated. I know you posted this yesterday. I hope all is going better today.

Ask God to take the pain away.I have done this before because of broken relationship and it worked.

I am maintaining the relationship and am trying to understand. And yes, the relationship in abusive and controlling. He truly is a beautiful soul and the schizophrenia is taking control and it’s is so hard. I am taking care of myself and maintaining space. It’s best that way. His sense of sanctuary is seclusion.