Sex and cervical cancer

@Maryitiswhatitis Hi Mary, I don't have cervical cancer but ovarian cancer and I think I understand what you're talking about. I'll be having my surgery soon and I know that afterwards that area will be a NO GO ZONE. I think intimacy is hard in these types of situations because your boyfriend probably wants to feel close to you after what you've both been through by being intimate, but you probably need time to come to terms with all that has happened to you. Have you been able to really talk to him about it?

@minnymom68‍ I have now I still don't know if he gets it. Really don't think anyone not in our situation can understand.  I your right he is just trying to be close and show his love. I missed that and was not seeing just how hard this is on him. See I left out the part when they gave me 18 months(because I don't believe it) and I knew it hurt him but I did not see the depths of that hurt. I do have a question for you it might be to personal. So when then told be basically that there is nothing to do now but slow my death sentence I got so mad at my vagina. Might sound crazy but do you ever see it like that. Like the whole thing that makes you women is trying to kill you. Not that it is in your case but do I make any sense?

@Maryitiswhatitis You're right, I think anyone (including other women) wouldn't really be able to understand. Yes I totally get what you mean! It's almost ironic, isn't it? The thing that makes us women, that gives us the ability to bring new life into this world, the thing that makes womanhood magical, is also the thing that is trying to take us out of this world. Well, we won't go without a fight! 

I feel really bad for you. I hope everyone can come to an understanding soon. I have an abnormal pap smear (first time was cancerous). I really do hope the very best for you. 

@Maryitiswhatitis I don't have cervical cancer but I have another female cancer: breast cancer. I can completely relate to what you describe, when I was in the worst part of my treatment I was just so tired of being touched by doctors and the idea of sex was the furthest thing from my mind. Like you said, I'm not sure I could have even handled it. You just need to take the time to think about you and take care of yourself and do what you need to do to be ok. I hope you're doing ok during this stressful time!

After my hysterectomy, sex felt different for a while—both physically and emotionally. What helped most was taking things slow, having open talks with my partner, and using lots of lube.

I went through a long illness that took intimacy off the table for a while, and the hardest part was feeling pressured to be “the old me.” It helped when I clearly said what I could and couldn’t handle, and asked my partner to stop jokes or comments that hurt, even if he thought they were harmless.You’re not broken for needing time. Affection can be small things—holding hands, talking, feeling safe—without sex attached, and a counselor helped us learn that language again.Some couples I know used light distractions or playful media [This content has been moderated by an administrator] to talk about desire without doing anything. The point wasn’t sex, just keeping communication open.