Do you struggle with finding love while living with an invisible illness?

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I struggle with this dilemma, I have not been dating since I broke up with my ex.

I have a chronic neurological disorder called NMOSD. I look, talk, and hold myself “normal” more days than not. When my illness begins to flare I am at the bottom of the barrel. I’m rendered paralyzed, in a diaper, unable to verbalize any communication nor have the ability to comprehend any discussion I am a part of. My relapses come and go in waves and are unpredictable. My love of ten years had a horrible time understanding and accepting what had become of me- and before any rude input, he loved me but didn’t know how to after I had turned for the worse so badly. Six months after we parted ways I began to use my body again- retraining my brain to walk, talk, brush my teeth, at this point of hope I had found, we also found him overdosed, gone, another permanent happening out of my control.

I'm still not okay from this. Just weeks prior to losing my love both of my lifetime dog pals left me, and now him, and what’s left of me is a shell, an artifact to what and who I once was.

i don’t believe love is meant for all of us.