I’m not really sure where to start. I’ve been struggling with Depression & Anxiety, from a very young age. Looking back, I don’t think I ever loved myself, I still don’t. Every time I look in the mirror, I find myself on the verge of tears, I disgust myself. I hate everything about me. my face, my thighs, my stomach, my shoulders, everything. I don’t have many friends, atleast anymore. I used to. Many people, whom I held dearly, and close to my heart, abandoned me. The few who haven't, I ended up pushing away anyways, because of that fear, that they might leave me, eventually too. I’m 18 now, about to graduate, and I have no idea what I am going to do with my life. I never planned my future, I never thought I’d have one. I still don’t. I wake up, every single day, with the one goal, to just get through the day. I am so utterly exhausted, I have no one. I cry myself to sleep, almost every day. Sleep is my only escape, atleast temporarily. It’s when I am awake, and conscious, things begin to ruin. This New Year, especially, has been really difficult for me. I hate the fact, that I am still here. another year, and I am here. I hate it. I hate myself. I hate how much of a coward I am. I am just so sad I need someone, someone to talk to, someone that understands, I am so tired of going through all this by myself. I feel like I’ve wasted my youth, being sad, but that’s all I’ve ever felt.
I am sorry to hear that, that sounds really sad. Did you try to reach out for help? I know there are psychotherapy groups where they discuss all together, that sounds really helpful. Also, I feel pretty down myself as well, but when I am going for a walk I am listening to something motivational on youtube, there are also self affirmations for self love. I have tried just a couple of times, but it really helps for that moment. I‘ve read that when you are hearing something uplifting continuously it helps in a long run. Also, I don‘t know how easy to get something like that where you are, but I know couple of people who went to clinics, where they could live for 6 weeks, there they talk to psychotherapists, do sports, meditation, at least where I am the insurance covers those things and they are very helpful. My girlfriend found a psychotherapist and she is much calmer now, so I would recommend you that. There are so many things that you can try, please just don‘t sit at home and do nothing about it, that doesn‘t help at all.
lastchance
lastchance
Last activity on 07/06/2024 at 6:31 AM
Joined in 2022
1 comment posted | 1 in the Living with depression group
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I’m not really sure where to start. I’ve been struggling with Depression & Anxiety, from a very young age. Looking back, I don’t think I ever loved myself, I still don’t. Every time I look in the mirror, I find myself on the verge of tears, I disgust myself. I hate everything about me. my face, my thighs, my stomach, my shoulders, everything. I don’t have many friends, atleast anymore. I used to. Many people, whom I held dearly, and close to my heart, abandoned me. The few who haven't, I ended up pushing away anyways, because of that fear, that they might leave me, eventually too. I’m 18 now, about to graduate, and I have no idea what I am going to do with my life. I never planned my future, I never thought I’d have one. I still don’t. I wake up, every single day, with the one goal, to just get through the day. I am so utterly exhausted, I have no one. I cry myself to sleep, almost every day. Sleep is my only escape, atleast temporarily. It’s when I am awake, and conscious, things begin to ruin. This New Year, especially, has been really difficult for me. I hate the fact, that I am still here. another year, and I am here. I hate it. I hate myself. I hate how much of a coward I am. I am just so sad I need someone, someone to talk to, someone that understands, I am so tired of going through all this by myself. I feel like I’ve wasted my youth, being sad, but that’s all I’ve ever felt.