How to juggle family life, social life, mental health and cancer?

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Patients Cancer

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Living with any type of cancer is always difficult for any person of any age of any gender and any race. Then when you mix mental illness with cancer and brings you to a whole new level of feeling low.  I had gotten pregnant while having cancer and my partner couldn't understand my depression or anxiety. He kept telling me it was all in my head.  I was always emotional my body was more weak than ever. I was in and out of hospitals almost every single day to make sure I was okay to make sure the baby was okay.  At one point me and my doctors discussed terminating the pregnancy.  but I couldn't so I just pushed through.  I had a complicated delivery and I thought after birth the depression and anxiety would go away a bit but it didn't. It's like it got stronger I was more depressed I was more anxious.   My doctors were very understanding with me. I had nurses watching my newborn while I was getting tests done. MRIs, x-rays, blood draws. I had alot of help but the one person that didnt understand was my partner. I couldnt find the way to make him understand what I was feeling, still feeling. All the anxiety the depression, and still going to the doctors everyday. I guess my big question is how do you juggle a baby, a social life, a relationship and deal with cancer. 

Beginning of the discussion - 3/10/20

How to juggle family life, social life, mental health and cancer?
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@Shay0730 Hello Shay0730, thank you for opening this discussion. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Balancing raising a family, having a social and romantic life, and taking care of one's mental health are hard enough on their own, let alone with a cancer diagnosis. I hope you realize what a warrior you are to get through all of that. I think communication is really important in this situation between you and your partner. Have you considered going to couples counseling or therapy together to work on your communication?

Take care,

Lee

How to juggle family life, social life, mental health and cancer?

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My partner doesnt believe in talking things out. Especially when it comes to emotions or feelings. He doesnt see mental health issues as a thing. We have tried, but it's something we are at an impasse. At this point I dont know how to bring it up anymore. With trying to control my emotions with the cancer, handling a newborn and my anxiety. I dont think I have the patience to make my partner understand that I feel like I'm drowning. I dont know what other ways to bring it up.

How to juggle family life, social life, mental health and cancer?
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@Shay0730‍ Oh sweetie, you poor thing. I'm sorry you're going through all of that alone! My husband has lung cancer so I know what a toll it takes on him physically, but also emotionally and mentally. 

Do you think some of what your feeling is postpartum depression? Postpartum is SO common among us women but I don't think it's taken seriously or talked about enough. Regardless, your partner needs to be there for you, body, soul, and mind. A relationship, especially one with children involved, takes two. It's not faire of him to shut you out and refuse to help you.

I'd say that you should try to join a local support group in your area, be it for young mothers, for people with cancer

Sending a hug your way

How to juggle family life, social life, mental health and cancer?
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@lori49‍

I was already dealing with depression before my pregnancy so most likely it is postpartum but it has hit even stronger. which is why i came on here to have some sort of support. Have a place to vent and have people to talk to. I appreciate your comment. I'll send prayers to your husband and family. Any type of cancer takes a toll on the family.

How to juggle family life, social life, mental health and cancer?
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Sometimes we get stuck in a pattern. Have you thought about ways to get out of that pattern? Do you have any hobbys at all, such as crochet or painting- something for you to do, just for you. I hope the best for you. Thank you for sharing. Keep us updated. 

How to juggle family life, social life, mental health and cancer?
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I got diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer ( one of the most progressive types) in July 2019! My father passed away from lymphoma when I was 32 and I never thought that I would end up with cancer but unfortunately I did! I have suffered from depression most of my adult life and this is very hard for me to deal with right now! I am also raising my two adopted granddaughters (8 and 15 years old) who are very worried about me especially the younger one. How can I make her realize that I am going to fight this and be alright soon! I have completed chemo and I have 8 targeted radiation treatments left ( out of 35)!!! The main problem right now is the constant fatigue that I am experiencing and I was just wondering how long is this supposed to continue and will I ever get my strength back again? We were going to the lake every other day last year and I would love to be able to do this with the girls again this year too! If anyone out there can give me some answers and please assure me and I will be ready to start my life back again and start taking  my two beautiful girls out like before!!!

How to juggle family life, social life, mental health and cancer?
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@Shay0730‍ Hey Shay, how are you doing? Are you feeling any better? Lee is right, you are a warrior and you can get through this!

@DDTaylor Hi DD, wow you are also a warrior! I can't imagine going through treatment and taking care of young children. I understand the fatigue for sure, it feels like it will never end! You will get though it though, you can do this!

How to juggle family life, social life, mental health and cancer?
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I don't have much to add as so much has already been said, but raising a family and being a mom is hard enough as it is without having mental health and a cancer diagnosis at the same time! Please know that you are strong and you are not alone! You can do this! You've got this community and all the people in your life behind you. Take care 

How to juggle family life, social life, mental health and cancer?
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I havent had much time to check up on this page with all the kiddos being home with this pandemic. But reading your stories and comments have given me reality and hope. That little break we all need to just have a moment of peace. Hope you guys are all doing well. Stay safe, and thank you for the positive vibes.

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