The challenges of living with a personality disorder and chronic pain
Published Aug 18, 2018
Discover the story of Maricarmen, a member of Carenity. Learn about her daily life with depression, chronic pain, and a personality disorder.
Hello bessones, could you introduce yourself?
My name is Maricarmen.
How long have you suffered from depression? How did you discover that you had depression?
18 years. One day, I was suddenly crying for no reason. I had no desire to do anything. I could not sleep. Nothing was enjoyable to me.
It is common for personality disorders to begin in the youth, is that true for you?
Yes, but I was diagnosed at 40.
Many people do not understand what a personality disorder is. Therefore, we will take this opportunity to ask you to explain this psychological illness work?
Well it is not that you have several personalities, rather it is that throughout your life you have many ups and downs, but in a very strange and exaggerated way, one day you wake up in a good mood, wanting to take on the world, and the next day you cannot take on the world or even get out of bed ... it's very hard.
You have posted on Carenity that you suffer from chronic pain but doctors can not find a diagnosis, how does this make you feel? What do you feel is necessary for the doctors or medical community to do?
Frustrated, sad, powerless ... I wish that they would investigate more and devote more funds to the investigation of these diseases.
Depression, chronic pain, arthrosis, personality disorder, deviation of the spine... in your particular case, do you feel that there is a lack of support from your doctors and medical staff? How would you like your relationship with your doctors and with the different specialists to be?
Yes, I feel without support. I have requested to change my psychiatrist because her comments make me worse. I also changed my psychologist because all he does is write on the computer everything I say ... My primary care doctor truly cares for me… she investigates and looks at all the evidence to make me better and to find/make a diagnosis as soon as possible.
How is your daily life? What difficulties do you find?
I get up late, eat breakfast and I then I take my medication, I try to do housework, but my pain is very intense and at noon I am so exhausted and sore that I do not even eat. I spend the rest of the day sitting on the couch, with my legs stretched out and a cushion under each arm so I can rest them. Then my partner comes home work, and makes dinner, cleans and does wash ... I am very lucky that he is with me and takes care of me so much, but I feel useless and sad, afraid that he will get tired and leave.
What impact has the disease had on your life? (relationship with friends, professional life, etc.)
I am permanently totally disabled. I receive a poor pension. In regard to my relationship with friends, I have distanced myself from them ... and when I am in a lot of pain and very bad, I confine myself to my home and do not want to see anyone or have anyone see me, not even my family.
What useful tips could you give to other patients?
That they look for good medical professionals (good doctors), family support, and that they do not lose faith and strength. It is very hard, but you have to push forward.
Would you like to share a positive message with the readers?
There will be bad days, but there will also be good days. The good days, those are the ones you must take advantage of, enjoy them to the fullest, and treasure them in their hearts, in order to remember them.
I hope my experience helps someone!
A kiss and a huge hug to you also from the whole Carenity team! :)
Keep pushing forward, it is not easy, but you have to.
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