Topic of the discussion
Posted on 6/5/20 2:55 AM
Hello everyone. Like many of you I have had a huge problem with depression through my formative years all through till now, I can understand it well but I have a situation that has me feeling confused and not sure what to do and how to help. I've been struggling with PTSD from past relationships. My last serious relationship was 4 years ago, I kept myself at a distance and closed off till now. I've known a girl for 3 years and she has always been there. She has a lot of problems at home but shes so bright and she can make your day better when she smiles. She slowly made me open up and I fell in love with this woman, she has feelings for me too but was clear that she wanted like me to wait to be in a relationship. She always went above and beyond, putting an effort to be there, morning and goodnight texts, basically the healthiest relationship kind of thing I've ever had. When I was down a week ago she called and said all would be fine and she was there. Then it all stopped, she basically vanished for a week. I finally contact her and she went spiraling down hard, she seems severely depressed, apathetic and keeps telling me she just doesn't care anymore. She tells me she just wants to be left alone, shes dealing with family, work and deceased anniversaries that shes never been able to let go and I cant blame her. Thing is I want to help her, I love her and I don't want to see her hurting or for her to do something she cant come back from, all my attempts to talk and give her hope fails, part of me feels like I gotta leave her like she says and the other thinks i gotta push through so she can see I'm not giving up on her, I gotta somehow push my feelings aside because it isn't what she needs, but doing so also just hurts me because I wish that she could see herself through my eyes and know that she is amazing, the battle is hers and I get it but I don't know how to go about it because I too am dealing through things but I cant walk away from her but she told me she just wanted to be alone but if i do and she does something and feels even more lonely I couldn't forgive myself. I'm so confused and downright feel lost. How do I help her?
Beginning of the discussion - 6/6/20How do I help my loved one with depression? https://www.carenity.us/forum/depression/living-with-depression/im-in-love-with-someone-who-lost-their-will-to-2027
Posted on 6/6/20 6:44 PM
Hello. I fully understand what your going through. My husband suffers from bipolar depression and I never know the right way to handle the sadness. U can't take it personally in anyway. Right how my husband is staying at his moms because he says he needs time and space. I tried helping but it seemed to make it worse. I have learned to give them their space but occasionally remind them that u are still there. I hope this is helpful in some way.
Posted on 6/7/20 5:15 PM
It does and it doesn't. Thank you. The only reason why I say it doesn't is because I already have taken it personal. She ask me to give her space but I'm the only one that was asked to leave. She said her kitty was all she needed. But I'm seeing her post snaps with her close friends. Seeing movies and laughing and such but she doesn't want me there. Her customers see her, talk to her. Her friends at work see her and can talk to her, even her ex sees her. Her fam sees her and can talk. But I'm irritated that she's chosen to push me away when I was the one there for her day in and out. Just me. No one else.
Posted on 6/8/20 8:52 AM
Hello My name is Trinidy I'm a 15 year old girl I need help. I'm having problems with what I believe to be depression, and I don't know how to go about talking to my doctor, I'm constantly unhappy and sad, And am in a relationship and feel that sometimes I want to be with him and sometimes I feel out of it and don't want to be in a Romantic relationship, this feeling of sadness has been going on for awhile now and the only thing that brings me some joy is music I don’t know what to do someone please give me advice
Posted on 6/8/20 1:00 PM
Hello, I hope you are all doing well. I am having issues with my younger sister, she has been very sad but I do not know how to help her.
Posted on 6/8/20 6:36 PM
Hello, talking to ur doctor and getting help is the best thing u can do. Don't be afraid to be completely honest with ur doctor. That is the only way to ur doctor can figure out exactly what is going on. Sometimes depression can be causes by underlining things such as a vitamin d deficiency.
And with ur sister, I would suggest going to the doctor also. U can offer to go with her so she feels less scared and alone.
Hopefully some of this is helpful
Posted on 6/17/20 6:22 PM
I think it's important too to let them know that you've noticed they seem depressed and not like themselves and that you're there for them. It may seem obvious but I think sometimes we tend to forget. Encouraging them to seek help like rokit9009 said is also really important. Depression is a medical condition, not a weakness or personality flaw, so it can be helped with treatment, be it medication or talk therapy.