Fear

Why does fear have to be so paralyzing? I’ve survived so many unknowns and so much change, yet still, I struggle so much with the fear of what might be, what could be, the struggles I might face.

A paralyzing overwhelming fear.

Fear ........ Just found out lupus is attacking my liver. I’m so scared of my future and the struggles I will have to overcome. Can anyone tell me what to expect ? 

Wow!  No, I have no words to help.  

You are not alone, there may not be people here, but they are out there.  

I am thinking of you as you face this terrifying knowledge.  Am not facing the same fears, but I know fear.  Sometimes it helps to know others lay awake at night with a cold sense of dread and concern about what the future will hold. 

We are stronger than we know.  We have survived 100% of our worst days and we will keep surviving.  

Thinking of you in this difficult time.  

@Hidden username I agree... fear is almost as bad as the pain and crippling conditions I have.

I fear how will I be able to provide for myself in the future if my health continues to go; I also have a very very bad left upper extremity... it has had numerous surgerys and days and days go by and I Am in more and more pain. I ahev so much nerve pain and joint pain, it is unbearable at time.

I get nervous about the future because I find it harder and harder to concentrate and do even simple tasks.

I get nervous and fear my spouse will get tired of my compliants and limitations and leave me... I get scared I could become disabled.... I get fearful I could become homeless... I get fearful that I Can no longer do even small simple tasks, like lifting my cat beause of the pain... not to mention the systemic conditions!

How do you deal with the fear and uncertainity? How do you go on?

I feel in this country since health care is a mess, if something happens and we lose pre-existing condition coverage we all could be homeless and lose everything we worked for! I get scared of that also.

Hey members, this is a good discussion and, thus, I am restarting it. Feel free to jump in the conversation/discussion and share advice and experiences!

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@Hidden username I have fears too!

Having faith in something bigger than myself is what keeps me going.

HELLO, FEAR IS WHAT KEEPS US STRONG!! I guess you guys, forgot me. Well, I am here. Mickey, slowly but surely I am getting back into the chat. I have been a bit sick!! I am far from a remission of my Lupus. I started a support group in my area of California. It is unfortunate, I do not have the energy to keep the responsibility! Can you believe, Over 150 people showed up after a newspaper article, about me and my service dog. The Service Dog retired and passed away. I have had, no communication with all those people!! They attended the meeting but, NOT ONE OF THEM, wanted the task! Maybe they are sick? I want to keep a positive mind set but it is very difficult, to keep a stiff upper lip. I can always attempt to have the newspaper write an human interest story about (SLE) Lupus. I know what will happen, I will receive a huge amount of people to go to the meeting and after the meeting not one response, afterwards. I did that years ago, and that is what happened. I have to take care of myself. Now, I am experiencing a huge flare up of my Lupus.

I did nothing to cause the Flare!! I do not attempt anything, that might make me react on overload. Especially, since my mother is gone. I have a new caregiver and he has been with me now for about 2.5 yrs. I know my mother has been gone for 2.5 yrs. but I REALLY MISS HER. The caregiver & I get along great and I think it is because we are Italian!! Our culture, predicts our personality. I am an overachiever and he attempts to calm me down!! I wonder why I always run on over-kill lol?? I can not help myself, and I was worse when I was younger. I have slowed down and people can not image, what I was like at a younger age. I hold myself down, by attempting to bake and do other things that will keep me in the house. I love to shop, even if it is window shopping(looking and not buying). That is torment because I was always able to buy without a question of money. Now, I do not work anymore and I have to control my spending. That is a very hard Chore for me. I do not wish it on my worse enemy!! So, today I am hanging up my hat here online with those that are reading this post. I am here and I never finished the last 2 chapters of my book. My life with Lupus!! I am searching for a ghost writer. Please I am going to take a nap, KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS!! The research centers came up with a slogan---

"MAYBE SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAS LUPUS"--Now this is a favorite of the Arthritis Foundation!!!! Remember, we will always have a place in the shade!!! (For those people who do not know, Lupus progresses in the Sun & Heat)

 I WILL ALWAYS DO WHATEVER IS POSSIBLE TO MAKE SLE AKA SYSTEMIC LUPUS KNOWN, UNTIL THEIR IS A CURE!!!!!!!

mickey

mickeyitaly3@aol.com