Finding the strength to fight alcoholism and depression

Hello MARKSHIPLEY, thank you for opening this discussion and sharing a bit of what you've been going through. Let me tag some other members who can possibly share their experiences and advice with you.

Hi everyone, how have you been doing? Where did or do you find the strength to fight alcohol dependence? What helps you in the day-to-day?
@Heyzil‍ @Kathall‍ @Turk2020‍ @lossforloss‍ @Robreg92‍ @castledepress‍ @JLoom33‍ @missylynn‍ @Kwarpenburg‍ @enigmatu‍ @McDermott247‍ @Torrlynn28‍ @Cszilard‍ @DazzleDarkness‍ @uncleanatol‍ 

Feel free to share your thoughts, experiences and advice here, we're all here to support one another!

Take care,
Courtney

My solution is really easy.  If I drink I will be homeless.  My wife had informed me that if I don't stay sober she'll move out and I have no job so I cannot pay the rent.  Ironically she was the reason I was drinking in the first place.  I basically have a non marriage and now with this quarantine I'm trapped in a kind of halfway house with the "warden" who is watching my every move.  She had refused to go to marriage counseling with me and basically told me that the marriage is "my problem."  If I weren't trapped here with her it might be a totally different scenario and I really don't know what I'd do.  I would probably have to do the famous "one day at a time" thing as AA says to do.  I was drinking to cut through the depression, of course pouring a depressive on a depression isn't the best thing to do but it got habitual and I ended up in rehab.  Then I did therapy.  Then I lost my therapist due to an insurance problem so basically I have to behave myself or face the consequences.  Every day is a struggle, I crave alcohol on the regular but the alternative is worse.  

Asking for help is never a sign of weakness. It’s one of the bravest things you can do. And it can save your life.” – Lily Collins..............Just thought I'd share this.  I was a closet alcoholic for years and it wasn't until my second wife did an intervention that I stopped.  I also left the marriage because she was feeding me Tequila lol.  Where I came from "real" men didn't ask for help, it was a sign of weakness.  My father was prescribed tranquilizers at one point but he just laughed at the doctor and kind of said that he was a man and didn't need medical help.  Things haven't really changed that much for guys since the late 60's, we're still expected to ride in on a white horse and save the day, I just decided that trip wasn't for me and am getting as much help as I can.  So guys out there, don't be ashamed, be proud that you took the right step.  

@MARKSHIPLEY Hi mark, what do you do for a living and do you like it?  What's the rest of your life like?  We use alcohol to cover up the stuff we can't deal with.  Your depression and inner turmoil is proportionate to your drinking.  The alcohol is just a symptom, what's there that you really can't stand?