Wife with MS drastic personality change

I think she is being selfish and I have had me for 61 years and my husband did not do that to me she don't deserve you

@MSspouse Hello,

Thanks for your comment. I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time and I hope you're doing better today.

A question for caretakers or members living with MS, have you or the person you're caring for experienced personality changes or anger issues that you think are due to MS?

Take care,

Lee

I do lash out sometimes out of pain and frustration. Does anyone know the best way to stop doing this? I feel ashamed of myself. Should I see a counselor?

@Sarahcrabtree Are you here for support? She Isn't out of control! She can't find her control! I have M.S. and I'm Bipolar! This is NOT a good combination, They feed off one another! Be Compassionate with something you DO NOT UNDERSTAND! Living with this is " In Hell in ITSELF!" Depression from M.S. Is REAL,! Then add on to other mental illnesses you can't control. He signed up for better or worse, It's up to him to educate himself to help his wife as she should for him! I have days where I cannot control my anger from living with this disease that keeps me from my "HAPPY" Then I have this WAY of life from a Dysfunctional childhood haunting me through mt disability! We ALL Struggle, Please DO NOT ENCOURAGE someone to leave another over your reaction to your reflection!

Hello MsSpouse, 

I'm new, this is my first response to anyones question but I do have some first hand experience with my own marriage and a situation we had that is very similar to you and your wife's.   I've been diagnosed for two and a  half years as well.  I have over 21 lesions in my brain (one very large one on my front left lobe), three in my lower spine and one in my neck.  I have mood changes and I go through depression and I know, I get to be quite aggressive and I try to make myself hush my face or go be alone.  We have been raising four grandchildren since they were babies, now they are 2 teens, 1 tween and a ten year old....they don't deserve to hear me rant, so I try to remove myself.  Anyway, he didn't take out loans, but he kept all the taxes without telling me.  Finally, he had to tell me because I kept asking where my half was.  I didn't get angry, but I was disappointed.  But its a marriage and we're human.  And I love the man.  We worked it out by talking it out.  I pick my battles and sometimes, you have to decide what the higher priority is.  Money, is never more important that a marriage, and you have an amazing 30  year marriage.  Maybe send her roses, a card that says something to the effect that you were wrong to not share the truth and burden with her.  She may be ill, but she's not made of glass.  My husband is constantly asking me if I want to lay down.  I can rub my forhead…."do you want to lay down?"  nope! lol.  He means well, his heart is in the right place and he loves me.  I understand why he's asking.  Let her be as strong as she can be.  Don't shelter her too much, let her be as much of who she was before she got the news she had MS as she can be.  And you are wonderful for being there for her, a lot of people take off when they find out their spouse is ill with a disease so, do not be hard on yourself.  Focus on making this right, but also on telling yourself you are only human and you did what  you thought was right.  A lesson learned, yes.....and now you can work on correcting the mistake and hopefully making your marriage stronger because of it.  Best of luck!

Sherry/Srscott55