How to get out of a cycle of depression?
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Theatrix86
Theatrix86
Last activity on 07/08/2021 at 6:10 PM
Joined in 2021
1 comment posted | 1 in the Living with depression group
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Hello, thank you for reading. I have been living with depression since my teens. I recently had a great three years. Same job, made friends that I actually did things with, and even bought my first house. I met someone and fell in love. Earlier this year we decided to move in together and I sold my house. I switched jobs so that I could be home in the mornings and he could have his young daughter overnights. In May I discovered he wasn't faithful. I took a cash advance to secure an apartment for myself and my son. I cried a lot. Called into work a few days. But I held it together. Until June. My birthday. I fell apart and started drinking. I hated my new job, so one morning I went in early and cleared out my office. I've been over eating, drinking, and just staying inside most days. This morning my 13 year old son chastised me for opening a beer at 10:41. I have a job offer that I don't want to take, but at this point I have to. But I just can't get myself out of this stay home, eat, cry, and drink phase. I take 40mg of celexa daily. I tried to email my Dr to see if perhaps now that I've been on it for 5 years my body isn't reacting to it the same, but I don't have any insurance. I can't help but think it's more situational than chemical and I just lack a support system. I've successfully pushed everyone out of my life. Today I tried to text my mother in South Dakota about my depression and she told me to just get over it. I mentioned that I felt like it would be easier to just be dead. Her response was something about me not wanting to be locked up in an institution on meds and staring at the wall. !?!? I thought maybe joining an online community would help. So...here I am.